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The Wishing Well

A couple comes up to a wishing well. The guy leans over, makes a wish, and throws in a penny.

His wife decides to make a wish, too, but she leans over too far, falls into the well, and drowns.

The guy says, “Wow, it really works.”

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Out of T.P.

A sexy lady in a bar walks up to the counter and motions the bartender over. She starts to run her fingers through his hair and asks to speak to the manager. The bartender says, ”He isn’t here but I can do anything the manger can do for you.” By this time the lady is running her fingers down his face and into his mouth and is letting him suck on her fingers.
She says, ”You’re sure he isn’t here?”

The bartender says, ”Yes, I’m very sure.”

The lady says, ”Well, I just wanted to tell him there’s no toilet paper or soap in the women’s restroom.”


Category: Funny Jokes
Redneck Wedding

You might be a redneck if you’re late for your wedding because you were at a monster truck rally.


Category: Redneck Jokes
Joe D. Days

A Yankees fan was enjoying himself at the game in a packed Yankee Stadium, until he noticed an empty seat down in front. He went down and asked the guy next to it if he knew whose seat it was.
The guy said, “Yes, that’s my wife’s seat. We have never missed a game since Joe DiMaggio played, but now my wife is dead.”

The fan offered his sympathy and said it was really too bad that he couldn’t find some relative to enjoy the game with.

“Oh no. I can.” the guy replied. “It’s just that they’re all at the funeral.”


Category: Funny Jokes
Made In Canada

A Canadian was in France, out of his wallet he removed a stick of gum he had from the airport in Canada, and started to chew it. He walked into a French coffee shop and sat himself beside an English speaking French man.
Frenchman: In Canada, what do you do with your used tires?

Canadian: We send em to France to get turned into paper plates.

French man: What do you do with your used plastic bags?

Canadian: (after blowing a huge bubble) We send em to France to get turned into a gold ring. Hey, what do you do with your used comdoms?

French man: we send em to Canada to get turned into bubble gum.


Category: Funny Jokes
Yo Mama so Fat

Yo mama’s so fat her belt size is the equator!
Yo mama is so fat she doesen’t use a fork she uses a forklift.
Yo mama so fat God told her he had no room in heaven, and the devil said there was no room in hell.
Yo Mama so fat her BMI is measured in acres.
Yo Mama so fat when she went to the movies she sat next to everyone.
Yo mama so fat when you get on top of her your ears pop!
Yo mama so fat her nickname is “Lardo”.
Yo mama so fat God told her he had no room in heaven, and the devil said there was no room in hell.
Yo Mama so fat her BMI is measured in acres.
Yo mama so fat she eats Wheat Thicks.
Yo mama so fat we’re in her right now.
Yo mama so fat people jog around her for exercise.
Yo mama so fat she has been declared a natural habitat for condors.
Yo mama so fat you have to roll over twice to get off her.
Yo mama so fat she was floating in the ocean and spain claimed her for the new world.
Yo mama so fat she lays on the beach and people run around yelling “Free Willy!”
Yo mama so fat when her beeper goes off, people thought she was backing up
Yo mama so fat when she wants someone to shake her hand, she has to give directions!
Yo mama so fat when she goes to a resturant, looks at the menu and says “Okay!”
Yo mama so fat when she wears a yellow raincoat, people said “Taxi!”


Category: Funny Jokes
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