Three Dogs

Three Dogs

Three dogs were sitting in the waiting room at the veterinarian’s. One of the dogs was hanging its head and sighing.

The second dog turned to him and asked, ‘What are you in here for, buddy?’

The dog looked depressed.
“I’m in big trouble,” he said. “My owner has a really nice sports car with leather seats. I just love to go for rides in it. Well, the other day, he took me for a ride and I was so excited, I peed on the nice leather seat. Now he’s having me put to sleep.”

“I know how you feel,” said the second dog. “My owners have a beautiful, expensive oriental rug. The other day they were late getting home from work and I just couldn’t help myself. I fucked all over their nice carpet and ruined it. They’re having me put to sleep too.”

Both dogs turned to the third dog in the waiting room.

“So what are you here for?’ they asked.

“Well”, said the third dog, ‘my owner likes to do her housework in the nude. The other day, she was vacuuming and she knelt down to vacuum under the sofa and I just couldn’t help myself. I hopped on her back and had the ride of my life.’

The other dogs nodded in sympathy.
“So she’s having you put to sleep too, huh?”

“No,” said the dog, “I’m having my nails clipped”

Related Jokes

Hurt

A woman and her friend are visiting the zoo.
They are standing in front of the big silverback gorillas cage, when one woman makes agesture that the gorilla interprets as aninvitation.
He grabs her yanks her over thefence and takes her to his nest in the pen.
There he ravishhes her and makes passionatelove to her for about 2 hours till he istranquilized, and the lady taken to hospital.
Her friend visits her the next day and asks” Are you hurt?”
She replies. Of Course I’m hurt, He hasn’t called! He hasn’t written!

Hunting

Two guys were out hunting, but they werent getting any ducks.
“What do you think the problem is?” one man asked his companion.
“I dunno,” came the reply, “Maybe we arent throwing the dog up high enough.”

He is a very smart dog

I went to the cinema the other day and in the front row was an old man and with him was his dog. It was a sad funny kind of film, you know the type. In the sad part, the dog cried his eyes out, and in the funny part, the dog laughed its head off. This happened all the way through the film. After the film had ended, I decided to go and speak to the man.

“That’s the most amazing thing I’ve seen,” I said. “That dog really seemed to enjoy the film.”

The man turned to me and said, “Yeah, it is. He hated the book.”

Gum Crossing

Why did the chewing gum cross the road?

Because he was stuck to the chicken's bottom.

Grey, yellow

Q: What’s grey, yellow, grey, yellow, grey, yellow, grey, yellow, grey, yellow, grey, yellow?

A: An elephant rolling down a hill with a daisy in its mouth!