Jokes

What happens to you when you find out a blonde passed a test?

You wake up.

A blonde, redhead, and brunette were looking at a dictionary for the hardest words they knew. The brunette’s word was quizzical. The redhead’s word was photosynthesis. The blonde’s word was dick.

Once there was a blonde who really needed some money. She saw an ad in the newspaper for a job at an Elmo factory. She went down and applied, but the manager told her that she wouldn’t want the job because it was so boring. The blonde begged him and told him she would do anything because she needed the money really bad. After long consideration the manager hired her. After a few hours the manager looked at the video-monitor showing the factory floor and saw that the conveyer belt was backed up. The manager went downstairs to find out what the problem was. When he arived there the blonde was sewing to marbles into the crotch of every Elmo.

The manager said, “I said to give each Elmo two test tickles; not two testicles!”

Q: How do you measure a blonde’s intelligence?
A: Stick a tire pressure gauge in her ear!

Why can’t a blonde dial 911?
She can’t find the eleven.

Q: How do you change a blonde’s mind?
A1: Blow in her ear.
A2: Buy her another beer.

Q: How do you brainwash a blonde?
A: Give her a douche and shake her upside down.