- A total of 4000 cans are opened around the world every second
- Ten babies are conceived around the world every second
- Each time you open a can, you stand a 1 in 400 chance of falling pregnant
- Ten percent of all car thieves are left-handed
- All polar bears are left-handed
- If your car is stolen, there’s a 10 percent chance it was nicked by a Polar bear
They say that if you have an infinite number of monkeys typing at an infinite number of keyboards for an infinite period of time, you will get the collected works of Shakespeare.
If you get the source code to Microsoft Windows, you need to add more monkeys.
How many ears does Spock have?
Three: One on the right, one on the left, and the final “front ear.”
There are three engineers in a car; an electrical engineer, a chemical engineer and a Microsoft engineer. Suddenly the car just stops by the side of the road, and the three engineers look at each other wondering what could be wrong.
The electrical engineer suggests stripping down the electronics of the car and trying to trace where a fault might have occurred. The chemical engineeer, not knowing much about cars, suggests that maybe the fuel is becoming emulsified and getting blocked somewhere.
Then, the Microsoft engineer, not knowing much about anything, comes up with a suggestion, “Why don`t we close all the windows, get out, get back in, open the windows again, and maybe it`ll work !?”
What goes a hundred miles an hour around the desert?
An Ethiopian with a free voucher at McDonald’s!