Computer Riddles

Computer Riddles

Why do programmers always get Christmas and Halloween mixed up? Because DEC 25 = OCT 31
Why don’t the British build computers? Because they can’t figure out how to make them leak oil!

What do you call a computer scientist? It doesn’t matter what you call him. He’s too involved with the computer to come anyway.

What do miniskirts and hard disks have in common? Access time.

What do Unix sysadmins do when they’re horny? Mount a filesystem.

Why is “256 Ways To Make Love” the most quoted book on the Internet? It’s in the Fucking Manual

Why do Computer Science majors smell so bad? So that blind students can hate them too. Computer Riddles Why do programmers always get Christmas and Halloween mixed up? Because DEC 25 = OCT 31

Why don’t the British build computers? Because they can’t figure out how to make them leak oil!

What do you call a computer scientist? It doesn’t matter what you call him. He’s too involved with the computer to come anyway.

What do miniskirts and hard disks have in common? Access time.

What do Unix sysadmins do when they’re horny? Mount a filesystem.

Why is “256 Ways To Make Love” the most quoted book on the Internet? It’s in the Fucking Manual

Why do Computer Science majors smell so bad? So that blind students can hate them too.

Related Jokes

Enter email

While at MSDN site, a popup dialog appears:
“May we send you a survey? Enter email:”
I reply: “Nope”.
“Enter valid email address:”
“Leave me alone!”
“Enter valid email address:”
noway@spammers.com
“Thank you”

Email Error

It’s wise to remember how easily email can be misused, sometimes unintentionally, with serious consequences. Consider the case of the Illinois man who left the snow-filled streets of Chicago for a vacation in Florida. His wife was on a business trip and was planning to meet him there the next day. When he reached his hotel, he decided to send his wife a quick email.

Unfortunately, when typing her address, he missed one letter, and his note was directed instead to an elderly preacher’s wife whose husband had passed away only the day before. When the grieving widow checked her email, she took one look at the monitor, let out a piercing scream, and fell to the floor in a dead faint.

At the sound, her family rushed into the room and saw this note on the screen:

Dearest Wife, Just got checked in. Everything prepared for your arrival tomorrow.

P.S. Sure is hot down here.

Confusion about Y2K

Dear Boss,

I hope I haven’t misunderstood your instructions. Because to be honest, boss, none of this Y to K dates problem makes any sense to me.

At any rate I have finished converting all the months on all the company calendars so that the year 2000 is ready to go with the following improved months: Januark, Februark, Mak, Julk.

In addition, I have changed the days of the week, and they are now: Sundak, Mondak, Tuesdak, Wednesdak, Thursdak, Fridak and Saturdak.

Is it enough, or should I change any other Y to K? I am a fan of the New York Yankees. Should I call them New Kork Kankees in order to be Y2K ready?

Computers Male or Female

Humankind’s propensity for imposing anthropomorphic characteristics on inanimate objects has now reached computers. But, which gender should your PC be?

Here are the top ten reasons why they have to be male.

They have a lot of data, but they’re still clueless.
A better model is just around the corner.
They look nice and shiny until you get them home.
It’s always essential to have a backup.
They’ll do whatever you want if you push the right buttons.
The best part of having one is the games you can play.
In order to get their attention, you have to turn them on.
The lights are on but nobody’s home.
Big power surges knock them out at night.
Size does matter.

But then again, here are the top ten reasons why they are obviously female.

They’re oh so picky, picky, picky.
They hear what you say, but not what you mean.
Beauty is only shell deep.
When you ask them what’s wrong, they always say ‘nothing’.
They can produce incorrect results with alarming speed.
They are always turning simple statements into big productions.
Small talk is important.
You do the same thing for years, and suddenly it’s wrong.
They make you take the garbage out.
Miss a period and they go wild.

Computers

A blonde girl enters a store that sells curtains. She tells the salesman:
“I would like to buy a pink curtain in the size of my computerscreen.”

The surprised salesman replies: “But, madam, computers do not have curtains…. ”

And the blonde said: “Helloooo………….I’ve got Windows!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!”