Hard Of Hearing Horse

Hard Of Hearing Horse

A bunch of Indians capture a cowboy and bring him back to their camp to meet the chief. The chief says to the cowboy, "You are going to die. But we feel sorry for you, so we will give you one wish a day for three days. On sundown of the third day, you die. What is your first wish?"

The cowboy says, "I want to see my horse."

The Indians get his horse. The cowboy grabs the horse's ear and whispers something, then slaps the horse on the ass. The horse takes off. Two hours later, the horse comes back with a naked blonde.

She jumps off the horse and goes into the teepee with the cowboy. The Indians look at each other, figuring, "Typical white man - can only think of one thing."

The second day, the chief says, "What is your wish today?"

The cowboy says, "I want to see my horse again."

The Indians bring him his horse. The cowboy leans over to the horse and whispers something in the horse's ear, then slaps it on the ass. Two hours later, the horse comes back with a naked redhead. She gets off and goes in the teepee with the cowboy.

The Indians shake their heads, figuring, "Typical white man - going to die and can only think of one thing."

The last day comes, and the chief says, "This is your last wish, white man. What you want?"

The cowboy says, "I want to see my horse again." The Indians bring him his horse. The cowboy grabs the horse by both ears, twists them hard and yells, "Read my lips! POSSE, damn it! P-O-S-S-E!"

Related Jokes

Turn On Your Energizer Bunny

What happens when you put the batteries in BACKWARDS in the Energizer Bunny?

He keeps coming and coming and coming…

True friends and best friends

What is the difference between a true
friend and a best friend?

True friend is the person who helps
you up when you fall…. a best friend
is the person peeing in their pants on the
floor because they are the ones who tripped
you!!!

Truck Driver

Johnny asked his Mom if he could go to the local carnival. She said, “Yes.”

At the carnival Johnny won the ring toss and selected a huge bag of M&M’s for his prize. Excited he ran home to show his Mom. After showing her his prize he asked if he could have some M&M’s.

She said,”Yes but, don’t eat too many — it’s almost dinner.” She poured a small amount into his hand.

Johnny tipped his head back and popped the handful into his mouth. He ran over to the house cat, picked it up, bit it, put it down, ran outside, and jumped on his bike racing it around the house a few times. Afterward Johnny went back into the house and asked for some more M&M’s. Puzzled she poured some more into his hand.

Again, Johnny repeated actions a 2nd, 3rd, and 4th time.

Upon the 5th request his Mom asked,”Johnny, what are you doing?”

Johnny replies,”I’m playing truck driver.”

She says,”Truck driver? Can you explain?” Johnny says,”Yes, I’m popping pills, eating pussy, and driving like hell!”

Translating Male Phrases

“I’m going fishing.”
Really means… “I’m going to drink myself dangerously stupid and stand by a stream with a stick in my hand, while the fish swim by in complete safety.”

“It’s a guy thing.”
Really means…. “There is no rational thought pattern connected with it, and you have no chance at all of making it logical.”

“Can I help with dinner?”
Really means… “Why isn’t it already on the table?”

“Uh huh,” “Sure, honey,” or “Yes, dear.”
Really means… Absolutely nothing. It’s a conditioned response.

“It would take too long to explain.”
Really means… “I have no idea how it works.”

“I’m getting more exercise lately.”
Really means… “The batteries in the remote are dead.”

“We’re going to be late.”
Really means… “Now I have a legitimate excuse to drive like a maniac.”

Traffic Stop

1st Officer: “Guess who I pulled over in a traffic stop the other day?”
2nd Officer: “Who?”
1st Officer: “Janet Jackson!”
2nd Officer: “What she do, was she speeding?”
1st Officer: “Nah, she had one headlight out.”