Yo mamma so ugly

Yo mamma so ugly

Yo mamma so ugly she went into a haunted house and came out with an application!

Yo momma so ugly when she joined an ugly contest, they said "Sorry, no professionals."

Yo momma so ugly she looks out the window and got arrested for mooning.

Yo momma so ugly just after she was born, her mother said "What a treasure!" and her father said "Yes, let's go bury it.

" Yo momma so ugly they push her face into dough to make gorilla cookies.

Yo momma so ugly they filmed "Gorillas in the Mist" in her shower.

Yo momma so ugly they didn't give her a costume when she tried out for Star Wars.

Yo momma so ugly instead of putting the bungee cord around her ankle, they put it around her neck.

Yo momma so ugly she gets 364 extra days to dress up for Halloween.

Yo momma so ugly when she walks into a bank, they turn off the surveillence cameras.

Yo momma so ugly her mom had to be drunk to breast feed her.

Yo momma so ugly her mom had to tie a steak around her neck to get the dogs to play with her.

Yo momma so ugly when she walks down the street in September, people say "Damn, is it Halloween already?".

Yo momma so ugly the government moved Halloween to her birthday.

Yo momma so ugly that if ugly were bricks she'd have her own projects.

Yo momma so ugly they pay her to put her clothes on in strip joints.

Yo momma so ugly she made an onion cry.

Yo momma so ugly when they took her to the beautician it took 12 hours for a quote!

Yo momma so ugly she tried to take a bath the water jumped out!

Yo momma so ugly she looks out the window and gets arrested!

Yo momma so ugly even Rice Krispies won't talk to her!

Yo momma so ugly Ted Dansen wouldn't date her!

Yo momma so ugly for Halloween she trick or treats on the phone!

Yo momma so ugly she turned Medusa to stone!

Yo momma so ugly The NHL banned her for life.

Yo momma so ugly people go as her for Halloween.

Yo momma so ugly that when she sits in the sand on the beach, cats try to bury her.

Yo momma so ugly she scares the roaches away.

Your mama's so ugly when she was born there was a brawl in the dilivery room about who got to slap her first!

Yo momma so ugly I heard that your dad first met her at the pound.

Yo momma so ugly that your father takes her to work with him so that he doesn't have to kiss her goodbye.

Yo momma so ugly your dad's breath smells like shit because he would rather kiss her ass.

Yo momma so ugly she is very successful at her job: Being a scarecrow.

Related Jokes

Shocked Old Ladies

Three old ladies are sitting in the park on a beautiful spring day feeding the pigeons and the squirrels, when suddenly, a man in a long trench coat jumps in front of them and throws open his coat. He’s completely naked under his jacket. The three old ladies haven’t seen such a thing in a very long time, and their blood pressure shoots up quickly. The first old lady lets out a gasp and has a stroke. The second old lady sees this and it’s too much for her — she gasps and has a stroke, too. The third old lady didn’t have a stroke — she was sitting too far away and couldn’t reach.

Shingles

A man walked into a Doctor’s office. “What do you have?” the receptionist asked.

“Shingles,”he replied.

She told him to sit down. Soon a nurse called him and asked, “What do you have?”

“Shingles,” he replied.

She took his blood pressure, weight, and complete medical history. Then she took him to a room and told him to remove all of his clothes. After a few minutes the Doctor came in and asked,”What do you have?”

“Shingles,” the man told him.

The Doctor looked him up and down and said,”Where?”

“Out on the truck. Where do you want me to unload them?

Shaky Arms Hotel

A man and his wife check into a hotel. The husband wants to have a drink at the bar, but his wife is extremely tired so she decides to go on up to their room to rest. She lies down on the bed… just then, and elevated train passes by very close to the window and shakes the room so hard she’s thrown out of the bed. Thinking this must be a freak occurrence, she lies down once more. Again a train shakes the room so violently, she’s pitched to the floor.
Exasperated, she calls the front desk, asks for the manager. The manager says he’ll be right up. The manager is skeptical but the wife insists the story is true.

“Look… lie here on the bed — you’ll be thrown right to the floor!”

So he lies down next to the wife. Just then the husband walks in. “What,” he says, “are you doing here?”

The manager calmly replies, “Would you believe I’m waiting for a train?”

Selling Lettuce

There was a boy who worked in the produce section of the market. A man came in and asked to buy half a head of lettuce. The boy told him that they only sold whole heads of lettuce, but the man replied that he did not need a whole head, but only a half head.
The shop assisant said he would go ask his manager about the matter.

He said to his manager, “There’s some asshole out there who wants to buy only a half a head of lettuce.” As he was finishing saying this, he turned around to find the man standing right behind him, so he added, “and this gentleman wants to buy the other half.” The manager okayed the deal and the man went on his way.

Later the manager called on the boy and said, “You almost got yourself in a lot of trouble earlier, but I must say I was impressed with the way you got yourself out of it. You think on your feet and we like that around here. Where are you from son?”

The boy replied, “Minnesota sir.”

“Oh really? Why did you leave Minnesota” asked the manager.

The boy replied, “They’re all just whores and hockey players up there.”

“Really?,” replied the manager, “My wife is from Minnesota!!”

The boy replied, “No kidding! What team did she play for?”

Search and Destroy

What is the thing that you keep on looking for and when you find it you throw it away?

A booger.