Q: Why did the pig go into the kitchen?
A: He felt like bacon.
Q: How do you stop a fish from smelling?
A: Cut it's nose off.
Q: How do you know when a woman is about to say something smart?
A: When she starts a sentence with “A man once told me…”
Q: How do you get a blonde to marry you?
A: Tell her she’s pregnant.
Q: How do you fix a woman’s watch?
A: You don’t. There is a clock on the oven.
Q: How do blonde brain cells die?