Q: Why do men die before their wives?
A: They want to.
Q: How many unemployed actors does it take to change a light bulb?
A: One hundred. One to change it, and ninety-nine to stand around and say, “Hey, I could’ve done that!”
Q: How many Hollywood actors does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Just one. He holds the bulb and the universe revolves around him.
Q: How many men does it take to open a beer?
A: None. It should be opened when she brings it.
Q: How do you tell when a blonde reaches orgasm?
A1: She drops her nail-file!
A2: Who cares?
A3: She says, “Next”.
A4: The next person in the queue taps you on the shoulder.
A5: He’s had his clothes for about 2 minutes.
A6: I mean, who really cares?
A7: The batteries have run out.