He is a very smart dog
I went to the cinema the other day and in the front row was an old man and with him was his dog. It was a sad funny kind of film, you know the type. In the sad part, the dog cried his eyes out, and in the funny part, the dog laughed its head off. This happened all the way through the film. After the film had ended, I decided to go and speak to the man.
“That’s the most amazing thing I’ve seen,” I said. “That dog really seemed to enjoy the film.”
The man turned to me and said, “Yeah, it is. He hated the book.”
The Hamster Show
A guy walks into a bar and asks the bartender if he will give him a free beer if he shows him something amazing. The bartender agrees, so the guys pulls out a hamster, who begins dancing and singing “Tuff Enuff” by the Fabulous Thunderbirds.
“That IS amazing!” says the bartender and gives the guy his free beer.
“If I show you something else amazing, will you give me another beer?” The bartender agrees, so the guy pulls out a small piano and a hamster and a frog. Now the hamster plays the piano while the frog dances and sings “You Ain’t Seen Nothing Yet” by Bachman-Turner Overdrive.
The bartender, completely wowed, gives him another beer. A man in a suit, who’s been watching the entire time, offers to buy the frog for a princely sum, which the man agrees to.
“Are you nuts?” asks the bartender. “You could’ve made a fortune off that frog.”
“Can you keep a secret?” asks the man. “The hamster’s a ventriloquist.”
A bugs life
Q. What is the last thing to go through a bug’s mind when it hits your windshield?
A. It’s butt.
Mom and Dad were trying to console Susie, whose dog had recently died.
“You know, its not your fault that the dog died. Hes probably up in heaven right now, having a grand old time with God.”
Susie, still crying, said “What would God want with a dead dog?”
A cat walks into a bar A cat walks into a bar…