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Funny Jokes

The largest collection of jokes.

Cricket

If I had one cricket ball in one hand, and another cricket ball in the other hand, what would I have?

A bloody big cricket.

Latest Animal Jokes

Bear & Rabbit

There were two high school sweethearts who went out together for four years in high school and were both virgins and enjoyed losing their virginity with each other in 10th grade. When they graduated, they wanted to both go to the same college but the girl was accepted to a college on the east coast, and the guy went to the west coast.

Porridge

It’s a sunny morning in the big forest and the Bear family is just waking up. Baby Bear goes downstairs and sits in his small chair at the table. He looks into his small bowl. It is empty! “Who’s been eating my porridge!” he squeaks. Daddy Bear arrives at the table and sits in his big chair. He looks into his big bowl. It is also empty! “Who’s been eating my porridge?” he roars. Mommy Bear puts her head through the serving hatch from the kitchen and screams, “For Goodness sake, how many times do we have to go through this? I haven’t made the porridge yet!”

Who’s That Dog?

There was a hound dog laying in the yard and an old geezer in overalls was sitting on the porch. ”Excuse me, sir, but does your dog bite?” a tourist asked. The old man looked up over his newspaper and replied, ”Nope.” As soon as the tourist stepped out of his car, the dog began snarling and growling, and then attacked both his arms and legs. As the tourist flailed around in the dust, he yelled, ”I thought you said your dog didn’t bite!” The old man muttered, ”Ain’t my dog.”

Farmer and the Cow

A farmer was in a bar drinking and looking all depressed.

His friend asked him why he was looking depressed and he replied, “Some things you just can’t explain. This morning I was outside milking. As soon as the bucket was fill the cow kicked it down with his left foot so I tied up his left to a pole.

I began to fill up the bucket again and he kicked it down with his right foot, so I tied his right to a pole too.

As soon as I finished milkin” him again he knocked down the bucket with his with his tail and I took off my belt and tied up his tail with my belt.

As I was tying up his tail, my pants dropped down, then my wife came out and well, trust me, some things you just can’t explain!

Taste

What did one Lesbian Frog say to the other? Gee, we really do taste like chicken.