Why do gorillas have big noses?
Q: Why do gorillas have big noses?
A: Because they have big fingers.
Farmer and the Cow
A farmer was in a bar drinking and looking all depressed.
His friend asked him why he was looking depressed and he replied, “Some things you just can’t explain. This morning I was outside milking. As soon as the bucket was fill the cow kicked it down with his left foot so I tied up his left to a pole.
I began to fill up the bucket again and he kicked it down with his right foot, so I tied his right to a pole too.
As soon as I finished milkin” him again he knocked down the bucket with his with his tail and I took off my belt and tied up his tail with my belt.
As I was tying up his tail, my pants dropped down, then my wife came out and well, trust me, some things you just can’t explain!
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Latest Animal jokes
What does a lion call a antelope?
Q: What does a lion call a antelope?
A: Fast food.
The Law of the Jungle
Two guys were hiking through the jungle when they spotted a tiger who looked both hungry and fast. One of the guys reached into his pack and pulled out a pair of Nikes.
His friend looked at him. ”Do you really think those shoes are going to make you run faster than that tiger?”
”I don’t have to run faster than that tiger,” his friend replied. ”I just have to run faster than you.”
Grapes
A duck walks into a store and asks the clerk, “Do you have any grapes?” The clerk says no.
Five minutes later the duck comes back and asks, “Do you have any grapes?” and again the clerk says no.
Five minutes later the duck comes back and asks, “Do you have any grapes?”
The clerk says, “No, and if you ask again, I’ll nail your feet to the floor.”
The duck comes back five minutes later and asks, “Do you have any nails?” The clerk says no. The duck says, “Good. Do you have any grapes?”
Cow Bells
Why do cows have bells?
Because their horns don’t work.