Got any crackers?
A duck walks into a bar and asks “got any crackers?”
bar tender says no.
Duck walks out. Duck walks in the next day and asks, “got any crackers?”
bar tender says no. Duck walks out.
Duck walks in the next day and asks got any crackers?
Bar tender says, “I told you yesterday and the day before that no! and if you ask that one more time Ill nail your beak shut!” Duck walks out.
Duck comes back the next day and asks, “got any nails?” bar tender says no. Duck says “good. Got any crackers?”
Grey, yellow
Q: What’s grey, yellow, grey, yellow, grey, yellow, grey, yellow, grey, yellow, grey, yellow?
A: An elephant rolling down a hill with a daisy in its mouth!
What does a lion call a antelope?
Q: What does a lion call a antelope?
A: Fast food.
Parrotstitutes
A woman went to her priest with a problem. “Father, I have two female parrots, and the only know how to say one thing. All they ever say is, ‘Hi, we’re prostitutes. Wanna have some fun?”
“That’s terrible!” exclaimed the priest. “But I think I can help. Bring your two female parrots over to my house, and I will put them with my two male parrots whom I taught to pray and read the Bible. My parrots will teach your parrots to stop saying that terrible phrase, and your female parrots will learn to praise and worship.”
The next day, the woman brought her female parrots to the priest’s house. His two male parrots were holding rosary beads and quietly praying in their cage. The woman put her two female parrots in the cage with the male parrots. The females said, “Hi, we’re prostitutes. Wanna have some fun?”
One male parrot looked over at the other male parrot and exclaimed “Put those beads away, our prayers have been answered!”
Bunjee jumping
Did you hear about the Blind man that went Bunjee jumping?
Scared the hell out of the dog.
