A city slicker went to the country to buy a pig. When he approached the pig farmer, he asked for a 25-pound pig. The pig farmer put the pig’s tail in his mouth and bobbed his head up and down. He then told the city slicker that the pig was too heavy — it was 30 pounds. The city slicker told the farmer he didn’t believe that was the way to weigh pigs. The farmer called his son over and asked him to weigh the pig. The son put the pig’s tail in his mouth, bobbed his head a couple of times and said the pig weighed 30 pounds. The city slicker said the farmer and his son were putting him on. The farmer told his son to go get his mother and have her come out and weigh the pig. The son went into the house and after a few minutes came out again.
“Mom’s weighing the mailman.”
Baby Camel: Mum, why do we have such a huge hump?
Mum Camel: They’re for storing fat in out in the desert.
Baby Camel: Why do we have hooves, then?
Mum Camel: So our feet don’t sink into the hot sand.
Baby Camel: Why do we have these long, fluttery eyelashes?
Mum Camel: To keep the sand out of our eyes in a sandstorm.
A moment later…
Baby Camel: Right. So why do we have all this stuff if we live in the London Zoo?
A giraffe and a bunny
A giraffe and a bunny talk.
Says the giraffe:
“Bunny, if you knew how beautiful it is, a long Neck to have. This is sooo tollll! Each tasty leaf that
I eat slowly move down my neck and long I enjoy this delicacy soo long. ”
The bunny looks blankly at the giraffe.
“And until the summer, Bunny, I am telling you, the cool water
so deliciously refreshing when it slowly my long neck sliding down. This is soooo beautiful, just a great to have such a long neck. Bunny, you can get the imagine? ”
Bunnies without emotions: “Have you ever puked?”
The Better Bull
This couple goes to an agricultural show way out in the countryside a fine Sunday afternoon, & are watching the auctioning off of bulls. The guy selling the bulls announces the first bull to be auctioned off: “A fine specimen, this bull reproduced 60 times last year.”
The wife nudges her husband in the ribs, & comments, “See! That was more than 5 times a month!”
The second bull is to be sold: “Another fine specimen, this wonder reproduced 120 times last year.”
Again the wife bugs her husband, “Hey, that’s some 10 times a month. What do YOU say to that?!”
Her husband is getting really annoyed with this comparison.
The third bull is up for sale: “And this extraordinary specimen reproduced 365 times last year!”
The wife slaps her husband on the arm and yells, “That’s once a day, every day of the year! How about YOU?!”
The husband was pretty irritated by now, & yells back, “Sure, once a day! But ask the auctioneer if they were all with the same cow!!”
“Some plants,” said the teacher, “have the prefix “dog. For instance, there is the dogrose, the dogwood, the dogviolet. Now name another plant prefixed by ‘dog’.”
“I can,” shouted a little redhead from the back row, “Collieflower!”