Little Nancy’s Pet
Little Nancy was in the garden filling in a hole when her neighbor peered over the fence. Interested in what the little girl was up to, he politely asked, “What are you up to there, Nancy?”
“My goldfish died,” replied Nancy tearfully, without looking up, “and I’ve just buried him.”
The neighbor was concerned, “That’s an awfully big hole for a goldfish, isn’t it?”
Nancy patted down the last heap of earth and then replied, “That’s because he’s inside your stupid cat.”
What does a lion call a antelope?
Q: What does a lion call a antelope?
A: Fast food.
A woman and her friend are visiting the zoo.
They are standing in front of the big silverback gorillas cage, when one woman makes agesture that the gorilla interprets as aninvitation.
He grabs her yanks her over thefence and takes her to his nest in the pen.
There he ravishhes her and makes passionatelove to her for about 2 hours till he istranquilized, and the lady taken to hospital.
Her friend visits her the next day and asks” Are you hurt?”
She replies. Of Course I’m hurt, He hasn’t called! He hasn’t written!
Not Your Typical Chicken Joke
Why did the chicken cross the road?
Part of a the CIA’s specially trained elite team of fowl, this stealthy chicken is on a perilous misson.
His object? No less than to uncover the secret documents of the infamous Polish scientist, Dr. Poppycockski.
Dr. Poppycockski, code name: Cock, has outlandish, yet devilsihly clever plans for total world domination, which begin with the great nation of Haiti.
The Better Bull
This couple goes to an agricultural show way out in the countryside a fine Sunday afternoon, & are watching the auctioning off of bulls. The guy selling the bulls announces the first bull to be auctioned off: “A fine specimen, this bull reproduced 60 times last year.”
The wife nudges her husband in the ribs, & comments, “See! That was more than 5 times a month!”
The second bull is to be sold: “Another fine specimen, this wonder reproduced 120 times last year.”
Again the wife bugs her husband, “Hey, that’s some 10 times a month. What do YOU say to that?!”
Her husband is getting really annoyed with this comparison.
The third bull is up for sale: “And this extraordinary specimen reproduced 365 times last year!”
The wife slaps her husband on the arm and yells, “That’s once a day, every day of the year! How about YOU?!”
The husband was pretty irritated by now, & yells back, “Sure, once a day! But ask the auctioneer if they were all with the same cow!!”