Funny Jokes
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Funny Jokes

The largest collection of jokes.

The Boss

One day a man goes to a pet shop to buy a parrot. The assistant takes the man to the parrot section and asks the man to choose one. The man asks, “How much is the yellow one?”
The assistant says, “$2000.” The man is shocked and asks the assistant why it’s so expensive.

The assistant explains, “This parrot is a very special one. He knows typewriting and can type really fast.”

“What about the green one?” the man asks.

The assistant says, “He costs $5000 because he knows typewriting and can answer incoming telephone calls and takes notes.”

“What about the red one?” the man asks.

The assistant says, “That one’s $10,000.”

The man says, “What does HE do?”

The assistant says, “I don’t know, but the other two call him boss.”

Latest Animal Jokes

The Law of the Jungle

Two guys were hiking through the jungle when they spotted a tiger who looked both hungry and fast. One of the guys reached into his pack and pulled out a pair of Nikes.

His friend looked at him. ”Do you really think those shoes are going to make you run faster than that tiger?”

”I don’t have to run faster than that tiger,” his friend replied. ”I just have to run faster than you.”

Penguins to the Zoo

This man had to take a bunch of penguins to the zoo for the new exibit. On the way into town his truck broke down and he pulled
over to the side of the road. A guy pulls up next to him and says, ‘Hey, do you need some help?’
The man says, ‘Actually, all I need is to get these penguins to the zoo. If I give you 50 bucks will you make sure you take hem?’
So the guy takes the money and the penguins and takes off. The man went to fix his truck and an hour later he’s pulling up into town to go check on the penguins.
He stops at a red light and looks across the street and sees the guy walking with all the penguins following behind him. The man
gets out of his car and screams at the guy, ‘Hey! What are you doing? I thought I gave you 50 bucks to get the penguins to the
zoo!!’
The guy turns with a big smile and says, ‘I did take them to the zoo and I had some money left over so now I’m taking them to the
movies.’

A giraffe and a bunny

A giraffe and a bunny talk.
Says the giraffe:
“Bunny, if you knew how beautiful it is, a long Neck to have. This is sooo tollll! Each tasty leaf that
I eat slowly move down my neck and long I enjoy this delicacy soo long. ”
The bunny looks blankly at the giraffe.
“And until the summer, Bunny, I am telling you, the cool water
so deliciously refreshing when it slowly my long neck sliding down. This is soooo beautiful, just a great to have such a long neck. Bunny, you can get the imagine? ”
Bunnies without emotions: “Have you ever puked?”

Why do gorillas have big noses?

Q: Why do gorillas have big noses?

A: Because they have big fingers.

There was just a dog fight

A man walks into a bar one day and asks, “Does anyone here own that rottweiler outside?”

“Yeah, I do!” a biker says, standing up. “What about it?”

“Well, I think my chihuahua just killed him…”

“What are you talkin’ about?!” the biker says, disbelievingly. “How could your little runt kill my rottweiler?”

“Well, it seems he got stuck in your dog’s throat!”