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Funny Jokes

The largest collection of jokes.

Whats the difference between a bull and a cow?

Q: Whats the difference between a bull and a cow?

A: A bull smiles when you milk it.

Latest Animal Jokes

Whats the difference between a bull and a cow?

Q: Whats the difference between a bull and a cow?

A: A bull smiles when you milk it.

Hurt

A woman and her friend are visiting the zoo.
They are standing in front of the big silverback gorillas cage, when one woman makes agesture that the gorilla interprets as aninvitation.
He grabs her yanks her over thefence and takes her to his nest in the pen.
There he ravishhes her and makes passionatelove to her for about 2 hours till he istranquilized, and the lady taken to hospital.
Her friend visits her the next day and asks” Are you hurt?”
She replies. Of Course I’m hurt, He hasn’t called! He hasn’t written!

A giraffe and a bunny

A giraffe and a bunny talk.
Says the giraffe:
“Bunny, if you knew how beautiful it is, a long Neck to have. This is sooo tollll! Each tasty leaf that
I eat slowly move down my neck and long I enjoy this delicacy soo long. ”
The bunny looks blankly at the giraffe.
“And until the summer, Bunny, I am telling you, the cool water
so deliciously refreshing when it slowly my long neck sliding down. This is soooo beautiful, just a great to have such a long neck. Bunny, you can get the imagine? ”
Bunnies without emotions: “Have you ever puked?”

Three Dogs

Three dogs were sitting in the waiting room at the veterinarian’s. One of the dogs was hanging its head and sighing.

The second dog turned to him and asked, ‘What are you in here for, buddy?’

The dog looked depressed.
“I’m in big trouble,” he said. “My owner has a really nice sports car with leather seats. I just love to go for rides in it. Well, the other day, he took me for a ride and I was so excited, I peed on the nice leather seat. Now he’s having me put to sleep.”

“I know how you feel,” said the second dog. “My owners have a beautiful, expensive oriental rug. The other day they were late getting home from work and I just couldn’t help myself. I fucked all over their nice carpet and ruined it. They’re having me put to sleep too.”

Both dogs turned to the third dog in the waiting room.

“So what are you here for?’ they asked.

“Well”, said the third dog, ‘my owner likes to do her housework in the nude. The other day, she was vacuuming and she knelt down to vacuum under the sofa and I just couldn’t help myself. I hopped on her back and had the ride of my life.’

The other dogs nodded in sympathy.
“So she’s having you put to sleep too, huh?”

“No,” said the dog, “I’m having my nails clipped”

A Proper Goldfish Burial

Little Tim was in the garden filling in a hole when his neighbor peered over the fence.

Interested in what the cheeky-faced youngster was up to, he politely asked, “What are you up to there, Tim?”

“My goldfish died,” replied Tim tearfully, without looking up, “and I’ve just buried him.”

The neighbor was concerned, “That’s an awfully big hole for a goldfish, isn’t it?”