Pig In A Bar
A lady goes into a bar with her goose. Then the bartender comes up to her and says, “Why did you have to bring the pig in with you?”
Then the lady answered, “Excuse me, I think this is a goose.”
And the bartender says, “Excuse me, I was talking to the goose.”
Why do dogs stick their noses in womens crotches?
Q: Why do dogs stick their noses in womens crotches?
A: Because they can.
Four Worms and a Funeral
Four worms were placed into four separate jars. The first worm was put into a jar of alcohol. The second worm was put into a jar of cigarette smoke. The third worm was put into a jar of sperm. The fourth worm was put into a jar of soil.
After one day:
First worm – dead
Second worm – dead.
Third worm – dead.
Fourth worm – alive.
Lesson: As long as you drink, smoke and have sex, you won’t get worms!
What did one skunk say to the other skunk when the wind changed? Its all coming back to me now!
What does a lion call a antelope?
Q: What does a lion call a antelope?
A: Fast food.