There was just a dog fight
A man walks into a bar one day and asks, “Does anyone here own that rottweiler outside?”
“Yeah, I do!” a biker says, standing up. “What about it?”
“Well, I think my chihuahua just killed him…”
“What are you talkin’ about?!” the biker says, disbelievingly. “How could your little runt kill my rottweiler?”
“Well, it seems he got stuck in your dog’s throat!”
Got any crackers?
A duck walks into a bar and asks “got any crackers?”
bar tender says no.
Duck walks out. Duck walks in the next day and asks, “got any crackers?”
bar tender says no. Duck walks out.
Duck walks in the next day and asks got any crackers?
Bar tender says, “I told you yesterday and the day before that no! and if you ask that one more time Ill nail your beak shut!” Duck walks out.
Duck comes back the next day and asks, “got any nails?” bar tender says no. Duck says “good. Got any crackers?”
He is a very smart dog
I went to the cinema the other day and in the front row was an old man and with him was his dog. It was a sad funny kind of film, you know the type. In the sad part, the dog cried his eyes out, and in the funny part, the dog laughed its head off. This happened all the way through the film. After the film had ended, I decided to go and speak to the man.
“That’s the most amazing thing I’ve seen,” I said. “That dog really seemed to enjoy the film.”
The man turned to me and said, “Yeah, it is. He hated the book.”
Baby Camel: Mum, why do we have such a huge hump?
Mum Camel: They’re for storing fat in out in the desert.
Baby Camel: Why do we have hooves, then?
Mum Camel: So our feet don’t sink into the hot sand.
Baby Camel: Why do we have these long, fluttery eyelashes?
Mum Camel: To keep the sand out of our eyes in a sandstorm.
A moment later…
Baby Camel: Right. So why do we have all this stuff if we live in the London Zoo?
What keys can’t open locks?
Monkeys, donkeys, and turkey.