You got any fish?

You got any fish?

A duck goes into a bar and askes the bartender,
“You got any fish?” The bartender replies, “No,
this is a bar and we don’t sell fish,” so the duck
leaves. The next day, the duck goes back to the
bar and asks, “You got any fish?” The bartender
says, “I told you yesterday, this is a bar and we
don’t sell fish!” The following day the duck returns
and says, “You got any fish?” The bartender loses
it, grabs the duck by the neck and screams,
“I TOLD YOU TWICE, THIS IS A BAR. WE
DON’T SELL FISH. IF YOU ASK
AGAIN, I’M GONNA NAIL YOUR WEBBED
FEET TO THE FLOOR!” The next day, the duck
goes into the bar and asks, “Got any nails?”
The bartender sighs and says, “No, we don’t have
any nails.” The duck says, “Good. Got any fish?”

Related Jokes

Farmer and the Cow

A farmer was in a bar drinking and looking all depressed.

His friend asked him why he was looking depressed and he replied, “Some things you just can’t explain. This morning I was outside milking. As soon as the bucket was fill the cow kicked it down with his left foot so I tied up his left to a pole.

I began to fill up the bucket again and he kicked it down with his right foot, so I tied his right to a pole too.

As soon as I finished milkin” him again he knocked down the bucket with his with his tail and I took off my belt and tied up his tail with my belt.

As I was tying up his tail, my pants dropped down, then my wife came out and well, trust me, some things you just can’t explain!

Dead dog

Mom and Dad were trying to console Susie, whose dog had recently died.
“You know, its not your fault that the dog died. Hes probably up in heaven right now, having a grand old time with God.”
Susie, still crying, said “What would God want with a dead dog?”

Cow Bells

Why do cows have bells?

Because their horns don’t work.

Changing Winds

What did one skunk say to the other skunk when the wind changed? Its all coming back to me now!