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Funny Jokes

The largest collection of jokes.

911

Q: Why did the blonde try and steal a police car?

A: She saw “911” on the back and thought it was a Porsche.

Latest Blonde Jokes

Blonde Kidnapper

A blonde was down on her luck. In order to raise some money, she decided to kidnap a kid and hold him for ransom. She went to the playground, grabbed a kid, took him behind a tree, and told him, ’’I’ve kidnapped you.’’
She then wrote a note saying,’’I’ve kidnapped your kid. Tomorrow morning, put $10,000 in a paper bag and put it under the pecan tree next to the slide on the north side of the playground. Signed, A Blonde.’’ The blonde pinned the note to the kid’s shirt and sent him home to show it to his parents.

The next morning the blonde checked, and sure enough, a paper bag was sitting beneath the pecan tree. The blonde opened up the bag and found the $10,000 with a note that said, ’’How could you do this to a fellow blonde?’’

Banana Peel

A blonde walks down the street and sees a banana peel a hundred yards ahead, and she sighs.

“Here we go again.”

Brainwash

Q: How do you brainwash a blonde?
A: Give her a douche and shake her upside down.

Lip stick stains on the steering wheel

Q: Why are there lip stick stains on the steering wheel after a blonde drives a car?

A: Because she blows the horn!

Indecent Exposure

A blonde is walking down the street with her blouse open, exposing one of her breasts.

A nearby policeman approaches her and remarks, “Ma’am, are you aware that I could cite you for indecent exposure?”

“Why, officer?” asks the blonde.

“Because your blouse is open and your breast is exposed.”

“Oh my goodness,” exclaims the blonde, “I left my baby on the bus!”