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Funny Jokes

The largest collection of jokes.

A blonde and shower

Q: What’s the difference between a blonde and a shower?

A: You don’t have to turn a blonde on to get her wet.

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Brainwash

Q: How do you brainwash a blonde?
A: Give her a douche and shake her upside down.

On your lap

A ventriloquist is sitting onstage at a comedy club. He and his dummy are spurting out really crude blonde jokes, when a blonde lady sitting in the audience stands up.

“I’m so sick of you people who think blondes are stupid. It’s because of you that I have had to work harder to prove myself at work and in the community. There are just as many dumb people with red or brown hair. There are just as many smart people with blonde hair.”

“Gosh, Miss, I’m terribly sorry. I was just telling jokes, I didn’t mean to hurt your feelings.”

“Shut up! I’m not talking to you. I’m talking to that little jerk on your lap!”

What stops then goes then stops then goes?

Q: What stops then goes then stops then goes?
A: A blonde at a blinking red light.

911

Q: Why did the blonde try and steal a police car?

A: She saw “911” on the back and thought it was a Porsche.

Blonde Test

What happens to you when you find out a blonde passed a test?

You wake up.