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Funny Jokes

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Blonde does some painting

A blonde, wanting to earn some money, decided to hire herself out as a handyman and started canvassing a wealthy neighborhood. She went to the front door of the first house and asked the owner if he had any jobs for her to do.

“Well, you can paint my porch. How much will you charge?” asked the owner.

The blonde said, “How about 50 dollars?”

The man agreed and told her the paint and other materials that she might need were in the garage. The man’s wife, inside the house, heard the conversation and said to her husband, “Does she realize that the porch goes all the way around the house?”

The man replied, “She should, she was standing on it.”

A short time later, the blonde came to the door to collect her money.

“You’re finished already?” he asked.

“Yes,” the blonde answered, “and I had paint left over, so I gave it two coats.”

Impressed, the man reached in his pocket for the $50, gave it to her and said he’d call her whenever he had another job for her to do.

The blond thanked him and, as she was walking back down the path, she called out “And by the way, I know everybody thinks blondes are stupid, but I thought you should know that it’s not a Porch, it’s a Ferrari.”

Latest Blonde Jokes

Hide and Seek

Q: How many blondes does it take to play Hide and Seek?
A: One.

In The Morning

Q: What does a blonde do when she wakes up?

A: Go home!

Elmo Factory

Once there was a blonde who really needed some money. She saw an ad in the newspaper for a job at an Elmo factory. She went down and applied, but the manager told her that she wouldn’t want the job because it was so boring. The blonde begged him and told him she would do anything because she needed the money really bad. After long consideration the manager hired her. After a few hours the manager looked at the video-monitor showing the factory floor and saw that the conveyer belt was backed up. The manager went downstairs to find out what the problem was. When he arived there the blonde was sewing to marbles into the crotch of every Elmo.

The manager said, “I said to give each Elmo two test tickles; not two testicles!”

911

Q: Why did the blonde try and steal a police car?

A: She saw “911” on the back and thought it was a Porsche.

Jump off a cliff…

A blond and a brunette jump off a cliff. Guess which one hits the ground first?

The brunette. The blond had to stop for directions!