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Funny Jokes

The largest collection of jokes.

Blonde Driving

Q: Why did the blonde get pulled over by the police?

A: Her headlights weren’t working, so she was flashing people.

Latest Blonde Jokes

Blonde with Money

A blonde and a brunette were opening their paychecks when the blonde asked the brunette what she was going to buy.

The brunette replied, “I think I’ll buy a new set of plates because mine are chipped. What are you going to buy?”

The blonde said, “I think I’m gonna buy a new butt, because my old one has an enormous crack in it.

911

Q: Why did the blonde try and steal a police car?

A: She saw “911” on the back and thought it was a Porsche.

How do you get a blonde to marry you?

Q: How do you get a blonde to marry you?

A: Tell her she’s pregnant.

The Blonde Flight Attendant

An airline captain was helping a new blonde flight attendant prepare for her first overnight trip. Upon their arrival, the captain showed the flight attendant the best place for airline personnel to eat, shop, and stay overnight. The next morning as the pilot was preparing the crew for the day’s route, he noticed the new stewardess was missing. He knew which room she was in at the hotel and called her up to ask what happened to her. She answered the phone, crying, and said, “I can’t get out of the room!” “You can’t get out of your room?”; the captain asked. “Why not?” She replied, “There are only three doors in here,” she sobbed, “one is the bathroom, one is the closet, and one has a sign on it that says ‘Do Not Disturb’!”

Blonde Snowman

Q: Which is harder to make? A blonde, brunette or a red-headed snowman?

A: A blonde, because you have to hollow out its head.