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Funny Jokes

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Blonde Overdue

A blonde goes into a library and says, “Hello. I’m here to see the doctor.”

The librarian replies, “This is a library.”

So the blonde lowers her voice and says, “Oh sorry!” Then whispers, “I’m here to see the doctor.”

Latest Blonde Jokes

Hot Blonde Drive

One day while on patrol a police officer pulled over a car for speeding. He went up to the car and asked the driver to roll down her window. The first thing he noticed, besides the nice red sports car was how hot the driver was! Drop dead blonde the works. “I’ve pulled you over for speeding ma’me…..could I see your drivers license…? “…Whats a license…???” replied the blonde. instantly giving away the fact that she was as a stump. Its usually in your wallet…
replied the officer. After fumbling for a few minutes the driver managed to find it. Now may I see your registration!!! Asked the cop. Registration….whats that…?asked the blonde. Its usually in your glove compartment said the cop impatiently after some more fumbling she found the
registration. Ill be back in a minute.. the cop said and walked back to his car. The officer phoned into the dispatch to run a check on the womans license and registration. After a few moments the dispatcher came back. Ummm is this woman driving a red sports car. Yes….Replied the officer. Is she a drop dead gorgeous blonde? asked the dispatcher. Uh…Yes replied the cop. Heres what you do…..said the dispatcher.Give her stuff back and drop your pants. WHAT!!!?Icant do that. Its ……..inappropriate..exclaimed the cop. Trust me….Just do it..said the dispatcher. So the cop goes back to the car gives back the license and registration and drops his pants, just as the dispatcher said. The blonde looks down and sighs….. Ohh no……not ANOTHER breathalyzer….

It hurts

The silver haired lady confronted her doctor with a complaint of pains all over her body.

“Be more precise,” he said. “So I can help you, try pointing to some of the places that hurt.

The silver-haired doll put her finger on her arm and said, “Ouch!” then her finger to her hip and said, “Ouch!” and then to her rib cage and said, “Ouch!” again.

The doctor stopped her and asked, “Were you a blonde before your hair grayed”?

“Why yes!” she said excitedly, “But how did you know?”
The Doc answered, “Your finger’s broken.”

Blonde Overdue

A blonde goes into a library and says, “Hello. I’m here to see the doctor.”

The librarian replies, “This is a library.”

So the blonde lowers her voice and says, “Oh sorry!” Then whispers, “I’m here to see the doctor.”

Flight to New York

A beautiful, well-dressed blonde seats herself in the first class cabin on a cross-country light, and settles herself in for the trip, smiling prettily at admiring passengers seated around her.
Underway, a flight attendant soon approaches the blonde and says, ‘Miss, I’m sorry, but I see that your ticket is for coach, and you’re seated in first class; I’m afraid you’ll have to move.’
The blonde replies, ‘I’m blonde, and I’m beautiful, and I’m going to New York to be a model.’Slightly incredulous, the attendant alerts the senior flight attendant. The senior attendant approaches the blonde and says, politely, ‘I’m sorry, Miss, but since your ticket is for coach, you’ll have to move back.’
The blonde replies, sweetly, ‘I’m blonde, and I’m beautiful, and I’m going to New York to be a
model’ — and shows no signs of moving.
Frustrated, the senior attendant informs the captain, and he says he’ll deal with the problem. He turns over flight control, walks to the rear, and observes the blonde seated comfortably in first
class.

Approaching her with a smile, the captain leans over and speaks quietly into the blonde’s ear. Almost immediately, the blonde gathers her things, gets up, and moves quickly to the coach compartment.
Amazed, the senior flight attendant asks the captain, ‘Captain, I’m impressed … what did you say to her?’ The captain grinned slyly and said, ‘I just told her that the first class cabin doesn’t go to New York.’

Blonde with Money

A blonde and a brunette were opening their paychecks when the blonde asked the brunette what she was going to buy.

The brunette replied, “I think I’ll buy a new set of plates because mine are chipped. What are you going to buy?”

The blonde said, “I think I’m gonna buy a new butt, because my old one has an enormous crack in it.