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Funny Jokes

The largest collection of jokes.

Blonde’s Medical Exam

A pretty young blonde visiting her new doctor for the first time found herself alone in a small waiting room. She began undressing nervously, preparing herself for the upcoming examination. Just as she draped the last of her garments over the back of a chair, a light rap sounded on the door and a young doctor strode in.

Coming to an abrupt halt, the doctor looked his nude patient up and down carefully and with considerable appreciation.

“Miss Smith,” he said finally, “it seems quite obvious to me that until today you have never undergone an eye examination.”

Latest Blonde Jokes

Knitter

A police officer saw a car speeding down the highway.

He started chasing after the speeder . When he got close he’s saw it was a blonde woman who was actually knitting while driving.

The cop yelled, “Pull over!”

The blonde shouted back, “No! It’s a sweater!”

Blondevision

A blonde went to an appliance store sale and found a bargain. “I would like to buy this TV,” she told the salesman.

“Sorry, we don’t sell to blondes,” he replied.

She hurried home and dyed her hair, then came back and again told the salesman, “I would like to buy this TV.”

“Sorry, we don’t sell to blondes,” he replied.

“Darn, he recognized me,” she thought.

She went for a complete disguise this time: a brown curly wig, big baggy clothes, and big sunglasses. Then she waited a few days before she approached the salesman again and said, “I would like to buy this TV.”

“Sorry, we don’t sell to blondes,” he replied.

Frustrated, she exclaimed, “How do you know I’m a blonde?”

“Because that’s a microwave,” he replied.

Hot Blonde Drive

One day while on patrol a police officer pulled over a car for speeding. He went up to the car and asked the driver to roll down her window. The first thing he noticed, besides the nice red sports car was how hot the driver was! Drop dead blonde the works. “I’ve pulled you over for speeding ma’me…..could I see your drivers license…? “…Whats a license…???” replied the blonde. instantly giving away the fact that she was as a stump. Its usually in your wallet…
replied the officer. After fumbling for a few minutes the driver managed to find it. Now may I see your registration!!! Asked the cop. Registration….whats that…?asked the blonde. Its usually in your glove compartment said the cop impatiently after some more fumbling she found the
registration. Ill be back in a minute.. the cop said and walked back to his car. The officer phoned into the dispatch to run a check on the womans license and registration. After a few moments the dispatcher came back. Ummm is this woman driving a red sports car. Yes….Replied the officer. Is she a drop dead gorgeous blonde? asked the dispatcher. Uh…Yes replied the cop. Heres what you do…..said the dispatcher.Give her stuff back and drop your pants. WHAT!!!?Icant do that. Its ……..inappropriate..exclaimed the cop. Trust me….Just do it..said the dispatcher. So the cop goes back to the car gives back the license and registration and drops his pants, just as the dispatcher said. The blonde looks down and sighs….. Ohh no……not ANOTHER breathalyzer….

Blonde Snowman

Q: Which is harder to make? A blonde, brunette or a red-headed snowman?

A: A blonde, because you have to hollow out its head.

Blondes and Colds

Q: Why is it okay for blondes to catch cold?

A: They don’t have to worry about blowing their brains out.