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Funny Jokes

The largest collection of jokes.

Blonde Testing Center

Why’d the blonde go to the mall?

She had a makeup test!

Latest Blonde Jokes

Blondes and Colds

Q: Why is it okay for blondes to catch cold?

A: They don’t have to worry about blowing their brains out.

Magic Mirror

There was a magic mirrior in this resturant. If you lie to the mirror you will get sucked in. A red head walks in says she thinks she’s president and gets sucked in. A strawberry blonde walks in says she thinks she is as rich as Bill Gates she gets sucked in. A blonde walks in and she says “I think…” and she gets sucked in.

Three Blondes

There were three blondes living together. Blonde #1 was coming back from grocery shopping, and she dropped her keys. She walked down the stairs to get them, and she said to herself, ”Am I going up the stairs or down the stairs?” So, she stood there puzzled, the bags of groceries still in her hands.

Blonde #2 was taking a bath, and was draining the tub because it was too cold. With her hair still dry, she said to herself, ”Was I getting in the tub or out of the tub?” She stood there, just thinking about it.

Blonde #3 was sitting in the living room in front of the coffee table, and she said to herself, ”Knock on wood I’m not as stupid as the other two!” She knocked the table. ”Was that the front door or the back door?”

Flight to New York

A beautiful, well-dressed blonde seats herself in the first class cabin on a cross-country light, and settles herself in for the trip, smiling prettily at admiring passengers seated around her.
Underway, a flight attendant soon approaches the blonde and says, ‘Miss, I’m sorry, but I see that your ticket is for coach, and you’re seated in first class; I’m afraid you’ll have to move.’
The blonde replies, ‘I’m blonde, and I’m beautiful, and I’m going to New York to be a model.’Slightly incredulous, the attendant alerts the senior flight attendant. The senior attendant approaches the blonde and says, politely, ‘I’m sorry, Miss, but since your ticket is for coach, you’ll have to move back.’
The blonde replies, sweetly, ‘I’m blonde, and I’m beautiful, and I’m going to New York to be a
model’ — and shows no signs of moving.
Frustrated, the senior attendant informs the captain, and he says he’ll deal with the problem. He turns over flight control, walks to the rear, and observes the blonde seated comfortably in first
class.

Approaching her with a smile, the captain leans over and speaks quietly into the blonde’s ear. Almost immediately, the blonde gathers her things, gets up, and moves quickly to the coach compartment.
Amazed, the senior flight attendant asks the captain, ‘Captain, I’m impressed … what did you say to her?’ The captain grinned slyly and said, ‘I just told her that the first class cabin doesn’t go to New York.’

Blondes ‘n’ Birth Control

Why don’t blondes take birth control pills?

Because they keep falling out.