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Funny Jokes

The largest collection of jokes.

Blonde with Money

A blonde and a brunette were opening their paychecks when the blonde asked the brunette what she was going to buy.

The brunette replied, “I think I’ll buy a new set of plates because mine are chipped. What are you going to buy?”

The blonde said, “I think I’m gonna buy a new butt, because my old one has an enormous crack in it.

Latest Blonde Jokes

Blondes in a Volkswagen

Q: What do you call four blondes in a Volkswagen?

A: Far-from-thinkin

What do you call a blonde that goes to college?

Q: What do you call a blonde that goes to college?

A: A Visitor!

Jump off a cliff…

A blond and a brunette jump off a cliff. Guess which one hits the ground first?

The brunette. The blond had to stop for directions!

Elmo Factory

Once there was a blonde who really needed some money. She saw an ad in the newspaper for a job at an Elmo factory. She went down and applied, but the manager told her that she wouldn’t want the job because it was so boring. The blonde begged him and told him she would do anything because she needed the money really bad. After long consideration the manager hired her. After a few hours the manager looked at the video-monitor showing the factory floor and saw that the conveyer belt was backed up. The manager went downstairs to find out what the problem was. When he arived there the blonde was sewing to marbles into the crotch of every Elmo.

The manager said, “I said to give each Elmo two test tickles; not two testicles!”

Why are blondes like cornflakes

Q: Why are blondes like cornflakes?

A: Because they’re simple, easy and they taste good.