A young blonde comes home from school and asks her mother,
“Is it true what Rita just told me? That babies come out of
the same place where boys put their thingies?”
“Yes, dear,” replied her mother, pleased that the subject had
finally come up and she wouldn’t have to explain it.
“But then when I have a baby, won’t it knock my teeth out?”
An office exec was interviewing a blonde for an assistant position, and wanted to find out a little about her personality.
“If you could have a conversation with anyone, alive or dead, who would it be?”
“I’d have to say the living one.”
A blonde was walking along the beach when she finds an old bottle floating in the water. The blonde goes over and picks it up and notices a cork in the top of the bottle. She pulls out the cork and a genie pops out.
“Thankyou for letting me out after 10000 years, stuck in that bottle and to say thankyou I will give you 3 wishes.
The blonde thinks for a little while and finally decides on her first wish.
“I would like to be 10% smarter”
The genie does her magic and she is turned into a red head.
“I don’t think I am smart enough yet, I would like to be 100% smarter than what I am”
So the Genie does her magic a second time and she turns in to a brunette.
“I don’t think I am smart enough yet I would like to be 1000% smarter than what I am”
So the genie turns her into a man!
A blonde was down on her luck. In order to raise some money, she decided to kidnap a kid and hold him for ransom. She went to the playground, grabbed a kid, took him behind a tree, and told him, ’’I’ve kidnapped you.’’
She then wrote a note saying,’’I’ve kidnapped your kid. Tomorrow morning, put $10,000 in a paper bag and put it under the pecan tree next to the slide on the north side of the playground. Signed, A Blonde.’’ The blonde pinned the note to the kid’s shirt and sent him home to show it to his parents.
The next morning the blonde checked, and sure enough, a paper bag was sitting beneath the pecan tree. The blonde opened up the bag and found the $10,000 with a note that said, ’’How could you do this to a fellow blonde?’’
A blonde and a guy were out on a date and they ended up at “Lovers’ Cove” where they were making out. The guy thought that things were going pretty good and maybe he would get lucky tonight, so he thought that he would ask her if she wanted to go in the back seat.
“NO!” yelled the blonde.
The guy just figured that she wasn’t ready yet. Things got pretty hot and the guy thought he would try again.
“NO!” the blonde yelled again.
Things got even hotter and the blond was down to her bra and the guy even had her pants unzipped.
“Do you wanna go in the back seat yet?” asked the guy.
“For the last time, NO!” said the blonde. Frustrated, the guy asked, “Well, why the hell not?”
The blonde looked at him and said, “Because I wanna stay up here with you.”
Why do blondes wear green lipstick?
Because red means stop!