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Funny Jokes

The largest collection of jokes.

Blondy Beer

Q: What do you say to a Blonde that won’t give in?

A: “Have another beer.”

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Blonde Goes to School

A girl came skipping home from school one day.

“Mommy, Mommy, she yelled, “We were counting today, and all the other kids could only count to four, but I counted to 10. See? 1,2,3,4,5,6,7,8,9,10!”

“Very good,” said her mother.

“Is it because I’m blonde?” the girl asked.

“Yes, It’s because your blonde.”

The next day the girl came skipping home from school.

“Mommy, Mommy,” she yelled, “We were saying the alphabet today, and all the other kids said up to D, but I said it up to G. See? A,B,C,D,E,F,G!”

“Very good,” said her mother.

“Is it because I’m blonde, Mommy?”

“Yes, It’s because your blonde.”

The next day the girl came skipping home from school.

“Mommy Mommy!” she yelled, “We were in gym class today, and when we were showering, all the other girls had flat chests, but I have these!”

She lifted up her tank top to reveal a pair of 36Cs.

“Very good,” said her embarrassed mother.

“Is it because I’m Blonde, Mommy?”

“No Honey, Its because you’re 24.”

A Natural Blind

A blind man walks into a bar, taps the man next him, and says, “Hey, wanna hear a blonde joke?”
The man says back to the blind man, “Look buddy, I’m blonde. The man behind me is a 400-pound professional wrestler and he is blonde. The bouncer is blonde. The man sitting over to your left is also blonde. Still wanna tell that blonde joke?”

The blind man is silent for a moment and then says, “Nah, I wouldn’t want to have to explain it five times.”

Hide and Seek

Q: How many blondes does it take to play Hide and Seek?
A: One.

Blonde basement

Q: What do you call a basement full of blondes?

A: A whine cellar.

Blonde in an Elevator

A tall blonde and a tall brunette are stading in an elevator. A short bald man with lots of dandruff walks in, then gets off at the next floor. The brunette says, “Boy he could use some head and shoulders.”

The blonde says, “Hm. How do you give shoulders?”