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Funny Jokes

The largest collection of jokes.

Brainwash

Q: How do you brainwash a blonde?
A: Give her a douche and shake her upside down.

Zadnji dodani Blonde Jokes

How do you tell?

Q: How do you tell when a blonde reaches orgasm?
A1: She drops her nail-file!
A2: Who cares?
A3: She says, “Next”.
A4: The next person in the queue taps you on the shoulder.
A5: He’s had his clothes for about 2 minutes.
A6: I mean, who really cares?
A7: The batteries have run out.

911

Why can’t a blonde dial 911?
She can’t find the eleven.

The Wet and the Blonde

Why did the Blonde pee in the Grocery Store?

The sign said ”Wet Floor.”

Magic Mirror

Legend has it that there is a bar in New York where, in the Ladies Room there is a very special mirror. If one stands in front of the mirror and tells the truth, one is granted a wish. However, if one tells a lie — *poof* — you are instantly swallowed up by the mirror, never to be seen again. Sooooo, A redhead of questionable looks walks into the Ladies Room and stands before the mirror and says, “I think I’m the most beautiful woman in the world.” — *poof* The mirror swallows her. Next a rather large brunette stands before the mirror and says, “I think I’m the sexiest woman alive.” — *poof* The mirror swallows her. Then an absolutely gorgeous blond comes in and stands before the mirror and says, “I think….” — *poof*.

The Blonde Flight Attendant

An airline captain was helping a new blonde flight attendant prepare for her first overnight trip. Upon their arrival, the captain showed the flight attendant the best place for airline personnel to eat, shop, and stay overnight. The next morning as the pilot was preparing the crew for the day’s route, he noticed the new stewardess was missing. He knew which room she was in at the hotel and called her up to ask what happened to her. She answered the phone, crying, and said, “I can’t get out of the room!” “You can’t get out of your room?”; the captain asked. “Why not?” She replied, “There are only three doors in here,” she sobbed, “one is the bathroom, one is the closet, and one has a sign on it that says ‘Do Not Disturb’!”