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Funny Jokes

The largest collection of jokes.

Did you hear about Pepsi’s new soda just for blondes

Q: Did you hear about Pepsi’s new soda just for blondes?

A: It has “open other end” printed on the bottom.

Latest Blonde Jokes

Blondes and Waterskiing

Why can you not teach blondes to waterski?

When they get wet, they roll over on their backs!

Upside Down Blonde

What do you call a blonde standing on her head?

A brunette with bad breath.

Cheating

A blonde suspects that her boyfriend is cheating on her, so she goes out and buys a gun.

She goes to his apartment that same day, with the gun in hand. Sure enough, when she opens the door, she finds her boyfriend in the arms of a redhead. She points the gun at her boyfriend at stares him down for a moment. Then, suddenly, she’s overcome with grief, so she puts the gun up to the side her head.

Her boyfriend screams, “Honey, don’t do it…”

The blonde yells back, “Shut up! You’re next!”

Wanted: Dead Or Alive

An office exec was interviewing a blonde for an assistant position, and wanted to find out a little about her personality.

“If you could have a conversation with anyone, alive or dead, who would it be?”

“I’d have to say the living one.”

Soccer Blonde

A blonde began a job as an elementary school counselor and she was eager to help. One day during recess she noticed a girl standing by herself on one side of a playing field while the rest of the kids enjoyed a game of soccer at the other.

The blonde approached and asked if she was all right.

The girl said she was.

A little while later, however, Sandy noticed the girl was in the same spot, still by herself. Approaching again, Sandy offered, “Would you like me to be your friend?”

The girl hesitated, then said, “Okay,” looking at the woman suspiciously.

Feeling she was making progress, the blonde then asked, “Why are you standing here all alone?”

“Because,” the little girl said with great exasperation, “I’m the goalie!”