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Funny Jokes

The largest collection of jokes.

Did you hear about Pepsi’s new soda just for blondes

Q: Did you hear about Pepsi’s new soda just for blondes?

A: It has “open other end” printed on the bottom.

Latest Blonde Jokes

Wild Horse

A blonde had a near death experience recently when she went horseback riding. Everything was going fine until the horse started bouncing out of control. She tried with all her might to hang on, but was thrown off. With her foot caught in the stirrup, she fell head first to the ground. Her head continued to bounce on the ground as the horse did not stop or even slow down. Just as she was giving up hope and losing consciousness, the Wal-Mart manager came out and unplugged
it. Thank goodness for heroes.

Ice Hole

There was a competition between a team of blondes and a team of brunettes to see who could catch the most fish icefishing. Once the contest started, it was clear that the brunettes were going to win — they kept pulling out fish after fish. Soon, the blondes got worried and sent over one of their team to see what the brunettes were doing differently. A few minutes later, the blonde comes running back.

“A hole! You need to put a hole in the ice!”

It hurts

The silver haired lady confronted her doctor with a complaint of pains all over her body.

“Be more precise,” he said. “So I can help you, try pointing to some of the places that hurt.

The silver-haired doll put her finger on her arm and said, “Ouch!” then her finger to her hip and said, “Ouch!” and then to her rib cage and said, “Ouch!” again.

The doctor stopped her and asked, “Were you a blonde before your hair grayed”?

“Why yes!” she said excitedly, “But how did you know?”
The Doc answered, “Your finger’s broken.”

Little Voice

A man was mowing his lawn when he heard his neighbor, who happened to be a blonde, come out of her house. She opened her mailbox, looked inside and slammed it shut. She stomped her foot and went back inside. The man thought ”how weird.”

A few minutes passed and sure enough, the blonde came out of her house again, checked her mail box, stamped her foot and went back inside. The man stopped mowing and checked her mailbox to see what was so wrong with it. After seeing nothing, he went back to mowing just shrugging his shoulders.

As soon as he heard her coming out again, he shut off his mowing machine and went up to her. ”What in the world are you doing, coming out here every five minutes?”

The blonde looked up at the man and said, ”Well, you see, there’s this little voice in my house that keeps on saying, ‘You’ve got mail,’ but when I come out here to check, I don’t have any.”

The blonde and the iron board

What is the difference between and ironboard and a blond?

The legs of an iron are hard to open.