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Funny Jokes

The largest collection of jokes.

Elmo Factory

Once there was a blonde who really needed some money. She saw an ad in the newspaper for a job at an Elmo factory. She went down and applied, but the manager told her that she wouldn’t want the job because it was so boring. The blonde begged him and told him she would do anything because she needed the money really bad. After long consideration the manager hired her. After a few hours the manager looked at the video-monitor showing the factory floor and saw that the conveyer belt was backed up. The manager went downstairs to find out what the problem was. When he arived there the blonde was sewing to marbles into the crotch of every Elmo.

The manager said, “I said to give each Elmo two test tickles; not two testicles!”

Latest Blonde Jokes

Blonde Brick

What’s the difference between a blonde and a brick?

When you lay a brick, it doesn’t follow you around for three days.

Blonde’s Backseat

A blonde and a guy were out on a date and they ended up at “Lovers’ Cove” where they were making out. The guy thought that things were going pretty good and maybe he would get lucky tonight, so he thought that he would ask her if she wanted to go in the back seat.
“NO!” yelled the blonde.

The guy just figured that she wasn’t ready yet. Things got pretty hot and the guy thought he would try again.

“NO!” the blonde yelled again.

Things got even hotter and the blond was down to her bra and the guy even had her pants unzipped.

“Do you wanna go in the back seat yet?” asked the guy.

“For the last time, NO!” said the blonde. Frustrated, the guy asked, “Well, why the hell not?”

The blonde looked at him and said, “Because I wanna stay up here with you.”

Blonde in a Snowstorm

A blonde got lost in her car in a snowstorm. She remembered what her dad had once told her. ”If you ever get stuck in a snowstorm, wait for a snow plow and follow it.” Pretty soon a snow plow came by, and she started to follow it. She followed the plow for about 45 minutes.

Finally, the driver of the truck got out and asked her what she was doing. She explained that her dad had told her if she ever got stuck in the snow, to follow a plow. The driver nodded and said, ”Well, I’m done with the parking lot here at Wal-Mart, now you can follow me over to K-Mart.”

What does a blonde put behind her ears to make her more attractive?

Q: What does a blonde put behind her ears to make her more attractive?

A: Her ankles.

Blondes ‘n’ Birth Control

Why don’t blondes take birth control pills?

Because they keep falling out.