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Funny Jokes

The largest collection of jokes.

Elmo Factory

Once there was a blonde who really needed some money. She saw an ad in the newspaper for a job at an Elmo factory. She went down and applied, but the manager told her that she wouldn’t want the job because it was so boring. The blonde begged him and told him she would do anything because she needed the money really bad. After long consideration the manager hired her. After a few hours the manager looked at the video-monitor showing the factory floor and saw that the conveyer belt was backed up. The manager went downstairs to find out what the problem was. When he arived there the blonde was sewing to marbles into the crotch of every Elmo.

The manager said, “I said to give each Elmo two test tickles; not two testicles!”

Latest Blonde Jokes

Banana Peel

A blonde walks down the street and sees a banana peel a hundred yards ahead, and she sighs.

“Here we go again.”

911

Q: Why did the blonde try and steal a police car?

A: She saw “911” on the back and thought it was a Porsche.

Knitter

A police officer saw a car speeding down the highway.

He started chasing after the speeder . When he got close he’s saw it was a blonde woman who was actually knitting while driving.

The cop yelled, “Pull over!”

The blonde shouted back, “No! It’s a sweater!”

Hide and Seek

Q: How many blondes does it take to play Hide and Seek?
A: One.

How do blonde brain cells die?

Q: How do blonde brain cells die?

A: Alone.