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Funny Jokes

The largest collection of jokes.

Gold Accident

There are two blondes playing golf. One tees off and hits a man as he’s walking to the next hole. He immediately clasps his hands over his crotch and falls to his knees in pain.
The two blondes run over and ask him if he is all right. He says that he is fine, but the blondes insist on helping him. They unzip his pants and begin to massage his crotch.

After a while one blonde asks if it feels better, and he says, “That felt good, but my hand still hurts like crazy!”

Zadnji dodani Blonde Jokes

911

Why can’t a blonde dial 911?
She can’t find the eleven.

Who Killed Abe?

A blonde walks into the police department looking for a job. The officer wants to ask her a few questions….

Officer: What’s 2+2?

Blonde: Ummmmm… 4!

Officer: What’s the square root of 100?

Blonde: Ummmm… 10!

Officer: Good! Now, who killed Abraham Lincoln?

Blonde: Ummmm… I dunno.

Officer: Well, you can go home and think about it. Come back tomorrow.

The blonde goes home and calls up one of her friends, who asks her if she got the job. The blonde says, excitedly, “Not only did I get the job, I’m already working on a murder case!”

Trapped

Two blondes and a brunette are trapped on an island. The first blonde swims from the island to the mainland. The second blonde builds a boat from palm trees and rows to the mainland. The brunette, however, uses the bridge.

Swervey Blondes

A cop pulled over a car for swerving all over the road. The blonde at the wheel looked very confused and scared.

“What’s going on here, ma’am?”

“Well, I was driving along when all of a sudden there was a tree right in my path. I swerved to miss it, but there was another tree. And after that, another, and another.” The cop looked inside her car and sighed.

“Ma’am. That’s your air freshener.”

Life Saver

A blonde is working as a lifeguard at a swimming pool when a girl begins to drown, screaming “lifesaver! lifesaver!”

The blonde thinks for a moment, and then asks “cherry or grape?”