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Funny Jokes

The largest collection of jokes.

Gold Accident

There are two blondes playing golf. One tees off and hits a man as he’s walking to the next hole. He immediately clasps his hands over his crotch and falls to his knees in pain.
The two blondes run over and ask him if he is all right. He says that he is fine, but the blondes insist on helping him. They unzip his pants and begin to massage his crotch.

After a while one blonde asks if it feels better, and he says, “That felt good, but my hand still hurts like crazy!”

Latest Blonde Jokes

How do you tell?

Q: How do you tell when a blonde reaches orgasm?
A1: She drops her nail-file!
A2: Who cares?
A3: She says, “Next”.
A4: The next person in the queue taps you on the shoulder.
A5: He’s had his clothes for about 2 minutes.
A6: I mean, who really cares?
A7: The batteries have run out.

Tardy Blonde

Q: Why was the blonde late for work?

A: She was stranded on the broken escalator.

That’s Me

Two Blondes were walking down the street. One noticed a compact on the sidewalk and leaned down to pick it up. She opened it, looked in the mirror and said, “Hmmm, this person looks familiar,” The second Blonde said, “let me look!” The first Blonde handed her the compact. The second Blonde looked in the mirror and said, “You dummy, it’s me!

Sleeping Blonde

Why was the blonde having trouble sleeping?

She forgot to close her eyes.

Blondes and Babies

A young blonde comes home from school and asks her mother,

“Is it true what Rita just told me? That babies come out of
the same place where boys put their thingies?”

“Yes, dear,” replied her mother, pleased that the subject had
finally come up and she wouldn’t have to explain it.

“But then when I have a baby, won’t it knock my teeth out?”