Funny Jokes
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Funny Jokes

The largest collection of jokes.

How do you get a blonde to marry you?

Q: How do you get a blonde to marry you?

A: Tell her she’s pregnant.

Latest Blonde Jokes

Blonde Kidnapper

A blonde was down on her luck. In order to raise some money, she decided to kidnap a kid and hold him for ransom. She went to the playground, grabbed a kid, took him behind a tree, and told him, ”I’ve kidnapped you.”

She then wrote a note saying,”I’ve kidnapped your kid. Tomorrow morning, put $10,000 in a paper bag and put it under the pecan tree next to the slide on the north side of the playground. Signed, A Blonde.” The blonde pinned the note to the kid’s shirt and sent him home to show it to his parents.

The next morning the blonde checked, and sure enough, a paper bag was sitting beneath the pecan tree. The blonde opened up the bag and found the $10,000 with a note that said, ”How could you do this to a fellow blonde?”

Three Girls in the Desert

A blonde, brunette and redhead are in a desert. The brunette says, “I brought some water so we don’t get dehydrated.” The redhead says, “I brought some suntan lotion so we don’t get sunburned.” Then the blonde says I brought a car door.” The other girls said, “Why did you bring that?” Then the blonde says, “So I can roll down the window if it gets hot.”

Life Saver

A blonde is working as a lifeguard at a swimming pool when a girl begins to drown, screaming “lifesaver! lifesaver!”

The blonde thinks for a moment, and then asks “cherry or grape?”

Blonde Testing Center

Why’d the blonde go to the mall?

She had a makeup test!

Blonde Snowman

Q: Which is harder to make? A blonde, brunette or a red-headed snowman?

A: A blonde, because you have to hollow out its head.