Funny Jokes
Send a Joke

Funny Jokes

The largest collection of jokes.

How do you get a blonde to marry you?

Q: How do you get a blonde to marry you?

A: Tell her she’s pregnant.

Latest Blonde Jokes

Blondes and Babies

A young blonde comes home from school and asks her mother,

“Is it true what Rita just told me? That babies come out of
the same place where boys put their thingies?”

“Yes, dear,” replied her mother, pleased that the subject had
finally come up and she wouldn’t have to explain it.

“But then when I have a baby, won’t it knock my teeth out?”

How do you tell?

Q: How do you tell when a blonde reaches orgasm?
A1: She drops her nail-file!
A2: Who cares?
A3: She says, “Next”.
A4: The next person in the queue taps you on the shoulder.
A5: He’s had his clothes for about 2 minutes.
A6: I mean, who really cares?
A7: The batteries have run out.

Blonde Test

What happens to you when you find out a blonde passed a test?

You wake up.

The Blonde Flight Attendant

An airline captain was helping a new blonde flight attendant prepare for her first overnight trip. Upon their arrival, the captain showed the flight attendant the best place for airline personnel to eat, shop, and stay overnight. The next morning as the pilot was preparing the crew for the day’s route, he noticed the new stewardess was missing. He knew which room she was in at the hotel and called her up to ask what happened to her. She answered the phone, crying, and said, “I can’t get out of the room!” “You can’t get out of your room?”; the captain asked. “Why not?” She replied, “There are only three doors in here,” she sobbed, “one is the bathroom, one is the closet, and one has a sign on it that says ‘Do Not Disturb’!”

Flight to New York

A beautiful, well-dressed blonde seats herself in the first class cabin on a cross-country light, and settles herself in for the trip, smiling prettily at admiring passengers seated around her.
Underway, a flight attendant soon approaches the blonde and says, ‘Miss, I’m sorry, but I see that your ticket is for coach, and you’re seated in first class; I’m afraid you’ll have to move.’
The blonde replies, ‘I’m blonde, and I’m beautiful, and I’m going to New York to be a model.’Slightly incredulous, the attendant alerts the senior flight attendant. The senior attendant approaches the blonde and says, politely, ‘I’m sorry, Miss, but since your ticket is for coach, you’ll have to move back.’
The blonde replies, sweetly, ‘I’m blonde, and I’m beautiful, and I’m going to New York to be a
model’ — and shows no signs of moving.
Frustrated, the senior attendant informs the captain, and he says he’ll deal with the problem. He turns over flight control, walks to the rear, and observes the blonde seated comfortably in first
class.

Approaching her with a smile, the captain leans over and speaks quietly into the blonde’s ear. Almost immediately, the blonde gathers her things, gets up, and moves quickly to the coach compartment.
Amazed, the senior flight attendant asks the captain, ‘Captain, I’m impressed … what did you say to her?’ The captain grinned slyly and said, ‘I just told her that the first class cabin doesn’t go to New York.’