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Funny Jokes

The largest collection of jokes.

Ice Hole

There was a competition between a team of blondes and a team of brunettes to see who could catch the most fish icefishing. Once the contest started, it was clear that the brunettes were going to win — they kept pulling out fish after fish. Soon, the blondes got worried and sent over one of their team to see what the brunettes were doing differently. A few minutes later, the blonde comes running back.

“A hole! You need to put a hole in the ice!”

Latest Blonde Jokes

Blonde Valedictorian

A blonde came home from school one day and said to her mom, ”I can count higher then all the kids in my second grade class, do you think it is because I am a blonde?”

Her mother replied, ”Of couse it is, dear.”

The next day, the blonde said, ”I can say the alphabet higher then anyone in my class, do you think it is because I am a blonde?”

Her mother replied, ”Of course it is dear!”

The next day the blonde came home from her gymnastics and asked her mother, ”I have a larger chest then all the kids in my class, do you think its because I am a blonde?”

Her mother replied, ”No dear, I think it is because you are eighteen years old.”

Blondevision

A blonde went to an appliance store sale and found a bargain. “I would like to buy this TV,” she told the salesman.

“Sorry, we don’t sell to blondes,” he replied.

She hurried home and dyed her hair, then came back and again told the salesman, “I would like to buy this TV.”

“Sorry, we don’t sell to blondes,” he replied.

“Darn, he recognized me,” she thought.

She went for a complete disguise this time: a brown curly wig, big baggy clothes, and big sunglasses. Then she waited a few days before she approached the salesman again and said, “I would like to buy this TV.”

“Sorry, we don’t sell to blondes,” he replied.

Frustrated, she exclaimed, “How do you know I’m a blonde?”

“Because that’s a microwave,” he replied.

Did you hear about Pepsi’s new soda just for blondes

Q: Did you hear about Pepsi’s new soda just for blondes?

A: It has “open other end” printed on the bottom.

Lip stick stains on the steering wheel

Q: Why are there lip stick stains on the steering wheel after a blonde drives a car?

A: Because she blows the horn!

VROOM, SCREECH

Q: What goes VROOM, SCREECH,VROOM, SCREECH,VROOM, SCREECH? 
A: A blonde going through a flashing red light.