Funny Jokes
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Funny Jokes

The largest collection of jokes.

In The Morning

Q: What does a blonde do when she wakes up?

A: Go home!

Latest Blonde Jokes

How do you get a blonde to marry you?

Q: How do you get a blonde to marry you?

A: Tell her she’s pregnant.

Soccer Blonde

A blonde began a job as an elementary school counselor and she was eager to help. One day during recess she noticed a girl standing by herself on one side of a playing field while the rest of the kids enjoyed a game of soccer at the other.

The blonde approached and asked if she was all right.

The girl said she was.

A little while later, however, Sandy noticed the girl was in the same spot, still by herself. Approaching again, Sandy offered, “Would you like me to be your friend?”

The girl hesitated, then said, “Okay,” looking at the woman suspiciously.

Feeling she was making progress, the blonde then asked, “Why are you standing here all alone?”

“Because,” the little girl said with great exasperation, “I’m the goalie!”

Change a blonde’s mind

Q: How do you change a blonde’s mind?
A1: Blow in her ear.
A2: Buy her another beer.

Why do blondes always rapidly flap their hands towards theirs ears?

Q: Why do blondes always rapidly flap their hands towards theirs ears?

A: They’re refuelling.

On your lap

A ventriloquist is sitting onstage at a comedy club. He and his dummy are spurting out really crude blonde jokes, when a blonde lady sitting in the audience stands up.

“I’m so sick of you people who think blondes are stupid. It’s because of you that I have had to work harder to prove myself at work and in the community. There are just as many dumb people with red or brown hair. There are just as many smart people with blonde hair.”

“Gosh, Miss, I’m terribly sorry. I was just telling jokes, I didn’t mean to hurt your feelings.”

“Shut up! I’m not talking to you. I’m talking to that little jerk on your lap!”