Funny Jokes
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Funny Jokes

The largest collection of jokes.

Lip stick stains on the steering wheel

Q: Why are there lip stick stains on the steering wheel after a blonde drives a car?

A: Because she blows the horn!

Latest Blonde Jokes

KFC

Why did the blonde go to KFC?
She heard she could get a pair of breasts for $1.99.

Blonde Kidnapper

A blonde was down on her luck. In order to raise some money, she decided to kidnap a kid and hold him for ransom. She went to the playground, grabbed a kid, took him behind a tree, and told him, ”I’ve kidnapped you.”

She then wrote a note saying,”I’ve kidnapped your kid. Tomorrow morning, put $10,000 in a paper bag and put it under the pecan tree next to the slide on the north side of the playground. Signed, A Blonde.” The blonde pinned the note to the kid’s shirt and sent him home to show it to his parents.

The next morning the blonde checked, and sure enough, a paper bag was sitting beneath the pecan tree. The blonde opened up the bag and found the $10,000 with a note that said, ”How could you do this to a fellow blonde?”

Hide and Seek

Q: How many blondes does it take to play Hide and Seek?
A: One.

Tardy Blonde

Q: Why was the blonde late for work?

A: She was stranded on the broken escalator.

On your lap

A ventriloquist is sitting onstage at a comedy club. He and his dummy are spurting out really crude blonde jokes, when a blonde lady sitting in the audience stands up.

“I’m so sick of you people who think blondes are stupid. It’s because of you that I have had to work harder to prove myself at work and in the community. There are just as many dumb people with red or brown hair. There are just as many smart people with blonde hair.”

“Gosh, Miss, I’m terribly sorry. I was just telling jokes, I didn’t mean to hurt your feelings.”

“Shut up! I’m not talking to you. I’m talking to that little jerk on your lap!”