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Funny Jokes

The largest collection of jokes.

On your lap

A ventriloquist is sitting onstage at a comedy club. He and his dummy are spurting out really crude blonde jokes, when a blonde lady sitting in the audience stands up.

“I’m so sick of you people who think blondes are stupid. It’s because of you that I have had to work harder to prove myself at work and in the community. There are just as many dumb people with red or brown hair. There are just as many smart people with blonde hair.”

“Gosh, Miss, I’m terribly sorry. I was just telling jokes, I didn’t mean to hurt your feelings.”

“Shut up! I’m not talking to you. I’m talking to that little jerk on your lap!”

Latest Blonde Jokes

VROOM, SCREECH

Q: What goes VROOM, SCREECH,VROOM, SCREECH,VROOM, SCREECH? 
A: A blonde going through a flashing red light.

In The Morning

Q: What does a blonde do when she wakes up?

A: Go home!

Life Saver

A blonde is working as a lifeguard at a swimming pool when a girl begins to drown, screaming “lifesaver! lifesaver!”

The blonde thinks for a moment, and then asks “cherry or grape?”

Brunette, Blonde, Brunette


What do you call a blonde between two brunettes? A mental block.

Hitting a Blonde

Q: How do you hit a blonde and she will never know it?
A: With a thought.