How do you get a blonde to marry you?
Q: How do you get a blonde to marry you?
A: Tell her she’s pregnant.
On your lap
A ventriloquist is sitting onstage at a comedy club. He and his dummy are spurting out really crude blonde jokes, when a blonde lady sitting in the audience stands up.
“I’m so sick of you people who think blondes are stupid. It’s because of you that I have had to work harder to prove myself at work and in the community. There are just as many dumb people with red or brown hair. There are just as many smart people with blonde hair.”
“Gosh, Miss, I’m terribly sorry. I was just telling jokes, I didn’t mean to hurt your feelings.”
“Shut up! I’m not talking to you. I’m talking to that little jerk on your lap!”
Jokes by Category
Latest Blonde Jokes
Brunette, Blonde, Brunette
What do you call a blonde between two brunettes? A mental block.
Sleeping Blonde
Why was the blonde having trouble sleeping?
She forgot to close her eyes.
What do you call a blonde that goes to college?
Q: What do you call a blonde that goes to college?
A: A Visitor!
Gold Accident
There are two blondes playing golf. One tees off and hits a man as he’s walking to the next hole. He immediately clasps his hands over his crotch and falls to his knees in pain.
The two blondes run over and ask him if he is all right. He says that he is fine, but the blondes insist on helping him. They unzip his pants and begin to massage his crotch.
After a while one blonde asks if it feels better, and he says, “That felt good, but my hand still hurts like crazy!”