Funny Jokes
Send a Joke

Funny Jokes

The largest collection of jokes.

Soccer Blonde

A blonde began a job as an elementary school counselor and she was eager to help. One day during recess she noticed a girl standing by herself on one side of a playing field while the rest of the kids enjoyed a game of soccer at the other.

The blonde approached and asked if she was all right.

The girl said she was.

A little while later, however, Sandy noticed the girl was in the same spot, still by herself. Approaching again, Sandy offered, “Would you like me to be your friend?”

The girl hesitated, then said, “Okay,” looking at the woman suspiciously.

Feeling she was making progress, the blonde then asked, “Why are you standing here all alone?”

“Because,” the little girl said with great exasperation, “I’m the goalie!”

Latest Blonde Jokes

Ice Hole

There was a competition between a team of blondes and a team of brunettes to see who could catch the most fish icefishing. Once the contest started, it was clear that the brunettes were going to win — they kept pulling out fish after fish. Soon, the blondes got worried and sent over one of their team to see what the brunettes were doing differently. A few minutes later, the blonde comes running back.

“A hole! You need to put a hole in the ice!”

Wild Horse

A blonde had a near death experience recently when she went horseback riding. Everything was going fine until the horse started bouncing out of control. She tried with all her might to hang on, but was thrown off. With her foot caught in the stirrup, she fell head first to the ground. Her head continued to bounce on the ground as the horse did not stop or even slow down. Just as she was giving up hope and losing consciousness, the Wal-Mart manager came out and unplugged
it. Thank goodness for heroes.

Flight to New York

A beautiful, well-dressed blonde seats herself in the first class cabin on a cross-country light, and settles herself in for the trip, smiling prettily at admiring passengers seated around her.
Underway, a flight attendant soon approaches the blonde and says, ‘Miss, I’m sorry, but I see that your ticket is for coach, and you’re seated in first class; I’m afraid you’ll have to move.’
The blonde replies, ‘I’m blonde, and I’m beautiful, and I’m going to New York to be a model.’Slightly incredulous, the attendant alerts the senior flight attendant. The senior attendant approaches the blonde and says, politely, ‘I’m sorry, Miss, but since your ticket is for coach, you’ll have to move back.’
The blonde replies, sweetly, ‘I’m blonde, and I’m beautiful, and I’m going to New York to be a
model’ — and shows no signs of moving.
Frustrated, the senior attendant informs the captain, and he says he’ll deal with the problem. He turns over flight control, walks to the rear, and observes the blonde seated comfortably in first
class.

Approaching her with a smile, the captain leans over and speaks quietly into the blonde’s ear. Almost immediately, the blonde gathers her things, gets up, and moves quickly to the coach compartment.
Amazed, the senior flight attendant asks the captain, ‘Captain, I’m impressed … what did you say to her?’ The captain grinned slyly and said, ‘I just told her that the first class cabin doesn’t go to New York.’

Kiss Me I’m Blonde

Why do blondes wear green lipstick?

Because red means stop!

Hide and Seek

Q: How many blondes does it take to play Hide and Seek?
A: One.