Sleeping Blonde
Why was the blonde having trouble sleeping?
She forgot to close her eyes.
Ten miles a day
An overweight blonde consulted her doctor for advice. The doctor advised that she run ten miles a day for thirty days. This, he promised, would help her lose as many as twenty pounds.
The blonde followed the doctor’s advice, and, after thirty days, she was pleased to find that she had indeed lost the pesky twenty pounds. She phoned the doctor and thanked him for the wonderful advice which produced such effective results. At the end of the conversation, however, she asked one last question: “How do I get home, since I am now 300 miles away?
Jokes by Category
Latest Blonde Jokes
Jump off a cliff…
A blond and a brunette jump off a cliff. Guess which one hits the ground first?
The brunette. The blond had to stop for directions!
Gold Accident
There are two blondes playing golf. One tees off and hits a man as he’s walking to the next hole. He immediately clasps his hands over his crotch and falls to his knees in pain.
The two blondes run over and ask him if he is all right. He says that he is fine, but the blondes insist on helping him. They unzip his pants and begin to massage his crotch.
After a while one blonde asks if it feels better, and he says, “That felt good, but my hand still hurts like crazy!”
Swervey Blondes
A cop pulled over a car for swerving all over the road. The blonde at the wheel looked very confused and scared.
“What’s going on here, ma’am?”
“Well, I was driving along when all of a sudden there was a tree right in my path. I swerved to miss it, but there was another tree. And after that, another, and another.” The cop looked inside her car and sighed.
“Ma’am. That’s your air freshener.”
Banana Peel
A blonde walks down the street and sees a banana peel a hundred yards ahead, and she sighs.
“Here we go again.”