Kiss Me I’m Blonde
Why do blondes wear green lipstick?
Because red means stop!
Ten miles a day
An overweight blonde consulted her doctor for advice. The doctor advised that she run ten miles a day for thirty days. This, he promised, would help her lose as many as twenty pounds.
The blonde followed the doctor’s advice, and, after thirty days, she was pleased to find that she had indeed lost the pesky twenty pounds. She phoned the doctor and thanked him for the wonderful advice which produced such effective results. At the end of the conversation, however, she asked one last question: “How do I get home, since I am now 300 miles away?
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Latest Blonde Jokes
Change a blonde’s mind
Q: How do you change a blonde’s mind?
A1: Blow in her ear.
A2: Buy her another beer.
Brainwash
Q: How do you brainwash a blonde?
A: Give her a douche and shake her upside down.
The Blonde Flight Attendant
An airline captain was helping a new blonde flight attendant prepare for her first overnight trip. Upon their arrival, the captain showed the flight attendant the best place for airline personnel to eat, shop, and stay overnight. The next morning as the pilot was preparing the crew for the day’s route, he noticed the new stewardess was missing. He knew which room she was in at the hotel and called her up to ask what happened to her. She answered the phone, crying, and said, “I can’t get out of the room!” “You can’t get out of your room?”; the captain asked. “Why not?” She replied, “There are only three doors in here,” she sobbed, “one is the bathroom, one is the closet, and one has a sign on it that says ‘Do Not Disturb’!”
Lip stick stains on the steering wheel
Q: Why are there lip stick stains on the steering wheel after a blonde drives a car?
A: Because she blows the horn!