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Funny Jokes

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Ten miles a day

An overweight blonde consulted her doctor for advice. The doctor advised that she run ten miles a day for thirty days. This, he promised, would help her lose as many as twenty pounds.

The blonde followed the doctor’s advice, and, after thirty days, she was pleased to find that she had indeed lost the pesky twenty pounds. She phoned the doctor and thanked him for the wonderful advice which produced such effective results. At the end of the conversation, however, she asked one last question: “How do I get home, since I am now 300 miles away?

Latest Blonde Jokes

Disney Land left

One day 2 blondes decided to drive to Disney Land. When they saw a sign that said ‘Disney Land left’ they turned around and went home.

Blondevision

A blonde went to an appliance store sale and found a bargain. “I would like to buy this TV,” she told the salesman.

“Sorry, we don’t sell to blondes,” he replied.

She hurried home and dyed her hair, then came back and again told the salesman, “I would like to buy this TV.”

“Sorry, we don’t sell to blondes,” he replied.

“Darn, he recognized me,” she thought.

She went for a complete disguise this time: a brown curly wig, big baggy clothes, and big sunglasses. Then she waited a few days before she approached the salesman again and said, “I would like to buy this TV.”

“Sorry, we don’t sell to blondes,” he replied.

Frustrated, she exclaimed, “How do you know I’m a blonde?”

“Because that’s a microwave,” he replied.

The Genie

A blonde was walking along the beach when she finds an old bottle floating in the water. The blonde goes over and picks it up and notices a cork in the top of the bottle. She pulls out the cork and a genie pops out.
“Thankyou for letting me out after 10000 years, stuck in that bottle and to say thankyou I will give you 3 wishes.
The blonde thinks for a little while and finally decides on her first wish.
“I would like to be 10% smarter”
The genie does her magic and she is turned into a red head.
“I don’t think I am smart enough yet, I would like to be 100% smarter than what I am”
So the Genie does her magic a second time and she turns in to a brunette.
“I don’t think I am smart enough yet I would like to be 1000% smarter than what I am”
So the genie turns her into a man!

Blondy Beer

Q: What do you say to a Blonde that won’t give in?

A: “Have another beer.”

Blonde basement

Q: What do you call a basement full of blondes?

A: A whine cellar.