A blonde girl enters a store that sells curtains. She tells the salesman:
“I would like to buy a pink curtain in the size of my computerscreen.”
The surprised salesman replies: “But, madam, computers do not have curtains…. ”
And the blonde said: “Helloooo………….I’ve got Windows!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!”
How do you tell?
Q: How do you tell when a blonde reaches orgasm?
A1: She drops her nail-file!
A2: Who cares?
A3: She says, “Next”.
A4: The next person in the queue taps you on the shoulder.
A5: He’s had his clothes for about 2 minutes.
A6: I mean, who really cares?
A7: The batteries have run out.
Blonde with Money
A blonde and a brunette were opening their paychecks when the blonde asked the brunette what she was going to buy.
The brunette replied, “I think I’ll buy a new set of plates because mine are chipped. What are you going to buy?”
The blonde said, “I think I’m gonna buy a new butt, because my old one has an enormous crack in it.
There were three blondes living together. Blonde #1 was coming back from grocery shopping, and she dropped her keys. She walked down the stairs to get them, and she said to herself, ”Am I going up the stairs or down the stairs?” So, she stood there puzzled, the bags of groceries still in her hands.
Blonde #2 was taking a bath, and was draining the tub because it was too cold. With her hair still dry, she said to herself, ”Was I getting in the tub or out of the tub?” She stood there, just thinking about it.
Blonde #3 was sitting in the living room in front of the coffee table, and she said to herself, ”Knock on wood I’m not as stupid as the other two!” She knocked the table. ”Was that the front door or the back door?”
A blonde was down on her luck. In order to raise some money, she decided to kidnap a kid and hold him for ransom. She went to the playground, grabbed a kid, took him behind a tree, and told him, ’’I’ve kidnapped you.’’
She then wrote a note saying,’’I’ve kidnapped your kid. Tomorrow morning, put $10,000 in a paper bag and put it under the pecan tree next to the slide on the north side of the playground. Signed, A Blonde.’’ The blonde pinned the note to the kid’s shirt and sent him home to show it to his parents.
The next morning the blonde checked, and sure enough, a paper bag was sitting beneath the pecan tree. The blonde opened up the bag and found the $10,000 with a note that said, ’’How could you do this to a fellow blonde?’’