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Funny Jokes

The largest collection of jokes.

The Genie

A blonde was walking along the beach when she finds an old bottle floating in the water. The blonde goes over and picks it up and notices a cork in the top of the bottle. She pulls out the cork and a genie pops out.
“Thankyou for letting me out after 10000 years, stuck in that bottle and to say thankyou I will give you 3 wishes.
The blonde thinks for a little while and finally decides on her first wish.
“I would like to be 10% smarter”
The genie does her magic and she is turned into a red head.
“I don’t think I am smart enough yet, I would like to be 100% smarter than what I am”
So the Genie does her magic a second time and she turns in to a brunette.
“I don’t think I am smart enough yet I would like to be 1000% smarter than what I am”
So the genie turns her into a man!

Latest Blonde Jokes

Blonde Kidnapper

A blonde was down on her luck. In order to raise some money, she decided to kidnap a kid and hold him for ransom. She went to the playground, grabbed a kid, took him behind a tree, and told him, ”I’ve kidnapped you.”

She then wrote a note saying,”I’ve kidnapped your kid. Tomorrow morning, put $10,000 in a paper bag and put it under the pecan tree next to the slide on the north side of the playground. Signed, A Blonde.” The blonde pinned the note to the kid’s shirt and sent him home to show it to his parents.

The next morning the blonde checked, and sure enough, a paper bag was sitting beneath the pecan tree. The blonde opened up the bag and found the $10,000 with a note that said, ”How could you do this to a fellow blonde?”

Blondes ‘n’ Birth Control

Why don’t blondes take birth control pills?

Because they keep falling out.

Blondes and Babies

A young blonde comes home from school and asks her mother,

“Is it true what Rita just told me? That babies come out of
the same place where boys put their thingies?”

“Yes, dear,” replied her mother, pleased that the subject had
finally come up and she wouldn’t have to explain it.

“But then when I have a baby, won’t it knock my teeth out?”

Blondevision

A blonde went to an appliance store sale and found a bargain. “I would like to buy this TV,” she told the salesman.

“Sorry, we don’t sell to blondes,” he replied.

She hurried home and dyed her hair, then came back and again told the salesman, “I would like to buy this TV.”

“Sorry, we don’t sell to blondes,” he replied.

“Darn, he recognized me,” she thought.

She went for a complete disguise this time: a brown curly wig, big baggy clothes, and big sunglasses. Then she waited a few days before she approached the salesman again and said, “I would like to buy this TV.”

“Sorry, we don’t sell to blondes,” he replied.

Frustrated, she exclaimed, “How do you know I’m a blonde?”

“Because that’s a microwave,” he replied.

Blonde Valedictorian

A blonde came home from school one day and said to her mom, ”I can count higher then all the kids in my second grade class, do you think it is because I am a blonde?”

Her mother replied, ”Of couse it is, dear.”

The next day, the blonde said, ”I can say the alphabet higher then anyone in my class, do you think it is because I am a blonde?”

Her mother replied, ”Of course it is dear!”

The next day the blonde came home from her gymnastics and asked her mother, ”I have a larger chest then all the kids in my class, do you think its because I am a blonde?”

Her mother replied, ”No dear, I think it is because you are eighteen years old.”