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Funny Jokes

The largest collection of jokes.

The Wet and the Blonde

Why did the Blonde pee in the Grocery Store?

The sign said ”Wet Floor.”

Latest Blonde Jokes

Ten miles a day

An overweight blonde consulted her doctor for advice. The doctor advised that she run ten miles a day for thirty days. This, he promised, would help her lose as many as twenty pounds.

The blonde followed the doctor’s advice, and, after thirty days, she was pleased to find that she had indeed lost the pesky twenty pounds. She phoned the doctor and thanked him for the wonderful advice which produced such effective results. At the end of the conversation, however, she asked one last question: “How do I get home, since I am now 300 miles away?

Blonde With A Cell Phone

A blond gets a new cell phone from her husband.

The next day she goes to Wal-mart and her phone rings, so she answers it.

It was her husband. He says, “How’s the new cell phone?”

She replied, “Great…but how did you know I was at Wal-mart?”

Jump off a cliff…

A blond and a brunette jump off a cliff. Guess which one hits the ground first?

The brunette. The blond had to stop for directions!

Indecent Exposure

A blonde is walking down the street with her blouse open, exposing one of her breasts.

A nearby policeman approaches her and remarks, “Ma’am, are you aware that I could cite you for indecent exposure?”

“Why, officer?” asks the blonde.

“Because your blouse is open and your breast is exposed.”

“Oh my goodness,” exclaims the blonde, “I left my baby on the bus!”

VROOM, SCREECH

Q: What goes VROOM, SCREECH,VROOM, SCREECH,VROOM, SCREECH? 
A: A blonde going through a flashing red light.