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Funny Jokes

The largest collection of jokes.

Trapped

Two blondes and a brunette are trapped on an island. The first blonde swims from the island to the mainland. The second blonde builds a boat from palm trees and rows to the mainland. The brunette, however, uses the bridge.

Latest Blonde Jokes

Blonde basement

Q: What do you call a basement full of blondes?

A: A whine cellar.

VROOM, SCREECH

Q: What goes VROOM, SCREECH,VROOM, SCREECH,VROOM, SCREECH? 
A: A blonde going through a flashing red light.

Soccer Blonde

A blonde began a job as an elementary school counselor and she was eager to help. One day during recess she noticed a girl standing by herself on one side of a playing field while the rest of the kids enjoyed a game of soccer at the other.

The blonde approached and asked if she was all right.

The girl said she was.

A little while later, however, Sandy noticed the girl was in the same spot, still by herself. Approaching again, Sandy offered, “Would you like me to be your friend?”

The girl hesitated, then said, “Okay,” looking at the woman suspiciously.

Feeling she was making progress, the blonde then asked, “Why are you standing here all alone?”

“Because,” the little girl said with great exasperation, “I’m the goalie!”

Blondes and Babies

A young blonde comes home from school and asks her mother,

“Is it true what Rita just told me? That babies come out of
the same place where boys put their thingies?”

“Yes, dear,” replied her mother, pleased that the subject had
finally come up and she wouldn’t have to explain it.

“But then when I have a baby, won’t it knock my teeth out?”

Upside Down Blonde

What do you call a blonde standing on her head?

A brunette with bad breath.