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Funny Jokes

The largest collection of jokes.

Wanted: Dead Or Alive

An office exec was interviewing a blonde for an assistant position, and wanted to find out a little about her personality.

“If you could have a conversation with anyone, alive or dead, who would it be?”

“I’d have to say the living one.”

Latest Blonde Jokes

Flight to New York

A beautiful, well-dressed blonde seats herself in the first class cabin on a cross-country light, and settles herself in for the trip, smiling prettily at admiring passengers seated around her.
Underway, a flight attendant soon approaches the blonde and says, ‘Miss, I’m sorry, but I see that your ticket is for coach, and you’re seated in first class; I’m afraid you’ll have to move.’
The blonde replies, ‘I’m blonde, and I’m beautiful, and I’m going to New York to be a model.’Slightly incredulous, the attendant alerts the senior flight attendant. The senior attendant approaches the blonde and says, politely, ‘I’m sorry, Miss, but since your ticket is for coach, you’ll have to move back.’
The blonde replies, sweetly, ‘I’m blonde, and I’m beautiful, and I’m going to New York to be a
model’ — and shows no signs of moving.
Frustrated, the senior attendant informs the captain, and he says he’ll deal with the problem. He turns over flight control, walks to the rear, and observes the blonde seated comfortably in first
class.

Approaching her with a smile, the captain leans over and speaks quietly into the blonde’s ear. Almost immediately, the blonde gathers her things, gets up, and moves quickly to the coach compartment.
Amazed, the senior flight attendant asks the captain, ‘Captain, I’m impressed … what did you say to her?’ The captain grinned slyly and said, ‘I just told her that the first class cabin doesn’t go to New York.’

Kiss Me I’m Blonde

Why do blondes wear green lipstick?

Because red means stop!

B-U-R-G-E-R- K-I-N-G

Two blondes were on holiday in Navajo country and they drove through a small township called ‘Chihanchako’.
The one blonde turned to the other and said, “Gee how do ya pronounce that?” 15 The other one shrugged and said, “Maybe we can ask when we stop for lunch.”
So in the small township they stopped and walked into a fast food place where the first blonde said, “Excuse me but how do ya pronounce this place we’re in?”
The blonde girl behind the counter looked them both up and down, rolled her eyes, and said slowly “B-U-R-G-E-R- K-I-N-G”

Jump off a cliff…

A blond and a brunette jump off a cliff. Guess which one hits the ground first?

The brunette. The blond had to stop for directions!

Blonde’s Medical Exam

A pretty young blonde visiting her new doctor for the first time found herself alone in a small waiting room. She began undressing nervously, preparing herself for the upcoming examination. Just as she draped the last of her garments over the back of a chair, a light rap sounded on the door and a young doctor strode in.

Coming to an abrupt halt, the doctor looked his nude patient up and down carefully and with considerable appreciation.

“Miss Smith,” he said finally, “it seems quite obvious to me that until today you have never undergone an eye examination.”