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Funny Jokes

The largest collection of jokes.

Wanted: Dead Or Alive

An office exec was interviewing a blonde for an assistant position, and wanted to find out a little about her personality.

“If you could have a conversation with anyone, alive or dead, who would it be?”

“I’d have to say the living one.”

Zadnji dodani Blonde Jokes

Swervey Blondes

A cop pulled over a car for swerving all over the road. The blonde at the wheel looked very confused and scared.

“What’s going on here, ma’am?”

“Well, I was driving along when all of a sudden there was a tree right in my path. I swerved to miss it, but there was another tree. And after that, another, and another.” The cop looked inside her car and sighed.

“Ma’am. That’s your air freshener.”

Grenade

Q: What do you do if a blonde throws a pin at you?

A: Run! She’s got a grenade in her mouth!

VROOM, SCREECH

Q: What goes VROOM, SCREECH,VROOM, SCREECH,VROOM, SCREECH? 
A: A blonde going through a flashing red light.

The Blonde and the Librarian

A blonde walks into a library and shouts “I’LL HAVE A HAMBURGER A COKE AND SOME FRIES.”

The librarian says, “This is a library.”

The blonde says, “Yes I know. I’LL HAVE A HAMBURGER A COKE AND FRIES.”

And the librarian says, one more time, ”But this is a library, miss!”

The blonde goes “Oh,” and whispers, “I’ll have a hamburger a coke and fries!”

Flight to New York

A beautiful, well-dressed blonde seats herself in the first class cabin on a cross-country light, and settles herself in for the trip, smiling prettily at admiring passengers seated around her.
Underway, a flight attendant soon approaches the blonde and says, ‘Miss, I’m sorry, but I see that your ticket is for coach, and you’re seated in first class; I’m afraid you’ll have to move.’
The blonde replies, ‘I’m blonde, and I’m beautiful, and I’m going to New York to be a model.’Slightly incredulous, the attendant alerts the senior flight attendant. The senior attendant approaches the blonde and says, politely, ‘I’m sorry, Miss, but since your ticket is for coach, you’ll have to move back.’
The blonde replies, sweetly, ‘I’m blonde, and I’m beautiful, and I’m going to New York to be a
model’ — and shows no signs of moving.
Frustrated, the senior attendant informs the captain, and he says he’ll deal with the problem. He turns over flight control, walks to the rear, and observes the blonde seated comfortably in first
class.

Approaching her with a smile, the captain leans over and speaks quietly into the blonde’s ear. Almost immediately, the blonde gathers her things, gets up, and moves quickly to the coach compartment.
Amazed, the senior flight attendant asks the captain, ‘Captain, I’m impressed … what did you say to her?’ The captain grinned slyly and said, ‘I just told her that the first class cabin doesn’t go to New York.’