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Funny Jokes

The largest collection of jokes.

Wanted: Dead Or Alive

An office exec was interviewing a blonde for an assistant position, and wanted to find out a little about her personality.

“If you could have a conversation with anyone, alive or dead, who would it be?”

“I’d have to say the living one.”

Latest Blonde Jokes

In The Morning

Q: What does a blonde do when she wakes up?

A: Go home!

Blonde’s Backseat

A blonde and a guy were out on a date and they ended up at “Lovers’ Cove” where they were making out. The guy thought that things were going pretty good and maybe he would get lucky tonight, so he thought that he would ask her if she wanted to go in the back seat.
“NO!” yelled the blonde.

The guy just figured that she wasn’t ready yet. Things got pretty hot and the guy thought he would try again.

“NO!” the blonde yelled again.

Things got even hotter and the blond was down to her bra and the guy even had her pants unzipped.

“Do you wanna go in the back seat yet?” asked the guy.

“For the last time, NO!” said the blonde. Frustrated, the guy asked, “Well, why the hell not?”

The blonde looked at him and said, “Because I wanna stay up here with you.”

Disney Land left

One day 2 blondes decided to drive to Disney Land. When they saw a sign that said ‘Disney Land left’ they turned around and went home.

Did you hear about Pepsi’s new soda just for blondes

Q: Did you hear about Pepsi’s new soda just for blondes?

A: It has “open other end” printed on the bottom.

It hurts

The silver haired lady confronted her doctor with a complaint of pains all over her body.

“Be more precise,” he said. “So I can help you, try pointing to some of the places that hurt.

The silver-haired doll put her finger on her arm and said, “Ouch!” then her finger to her hip and said, “Ouch!” and then to her rib cage and said, “Ouch!” again.

The doctor stopped her and asked, “Were you a blonde before your hair grayed”?

“Why yes!” she said excitedly, “But how did you know?”
The Doc answered, “Your finger’s broken.”