Anyjokes - Blonde Jokes

Blondy Beer

Q: What do you say to a Blonde that won't give in?

A: "Have another beer."

Blondes and Colds

Q: Why is it okay for blondes to catch cold?

A: They don't have to worry about blowing their brains out.

Who Killed Abe?

A blonde walks into the police department looking for a job. The officer wants to ask her a few questions....

Officer: What's 2+2?

Blonde: Ummmmm... 4!

Officer: What's the square root of 100?

Blonde: Ummmm... 10!

Officer: Good! Now, who killed Abraham Lincoln?

Blonde: Ummmm... I dunno.

Officer: Well, you can go home and think about it. Come back tomorrow.

The blonde goes home and calls up one of her friends, who asks her if she got the job. The blonde says, excitedly, "Not only did I get the job, I'm already working on a murder case!"

Tardy Blonde

Q: Why was the blonde late for work?

A: She was stranded on the broken escalator.

Blonde With A Cell Phone

A blond gets a new cell phone from her husband.

The next day she goes to Wal-mart and her phone rings, so she answers it.

It was her husband. He says, "How's the new cell phone?"

She replied, "Great...but how did you know I was at Wal-mart?"

Three Blondes

There were three blondes living together. Blonde #1 was coming back from grocery shopping, and she dropped her keys. She walked down the stairs to get them, and she said to herself, ''Am I going up the stairs or down the stairs?'' So, she stood there puzzled, the bags of groceries still in her hands.

Blonde #2 was taking a bath, and was draining the tub because it was too cold. With her hair still dry, she said to herself, ''Was I getting in the tub or out of the tub?'' She stood there, just thinking about it.

Blonde #3 was sitting in the living room in front of the coffee table, and she said to herself, ''Knock on wood I'm not as stupid as the other two!'' She knocked the table. ''Was that the front door or the back door?''

Banana Peel

A blonde walks down the street and sees a banana peel a hundred yards ahead, and she sighs.

"Here we go again."

Blonde Overdue

A blonde goes into a library and says, "Hello. I'm here to see the doctor."

The librarian replies, "This is a library."

So the blonde lowers her voice and says, "Oh sorry!" Then whispers, "I'm here to see the doctor."

Upside Down Blonde

What do you call a blonde standing on her head?

A brunette with bad breath.

On the Rooftop

Why did the blonde bring a ladder to the party?

He heard the drinks where on the house.