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Funny Jokes

The largest collection of jokes.

A Christmas rhyme

Twinkle Twinkle chocolate bar,
Santa drives a rusty car,
Press the starter,
Press the choke,
Off he goes in a cloud of smoke!

Latest Christmass Jokes

Father Christmas resting

What’s Father Christmas called when he takes a rest while delivering presents?
Santa pause!

Father Christmas’ money

What does Father Christmas call his money?
Iced lolly!

Gigantic polar bear

What do you call a gigantic polar bear?
Nothing, you just run away!

Early Christmas shopping

It was Christmas and the judge was in a merry mood as he asked the suspect, “What are you charged with?”
“Doing my Christmas shopping early,” replied the defendant.
“That’s no offence,” said the judge. “How early were you doing this shopping?”
“Before the store opened,” countered the prisoner.

Archer and a gift wrapper

What do you get when you cross an archer with a gift wrapper?
Ribbon hood.