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Funny Jokes

The largest collection of jokes.

Father Christmas the gardener

Why does Father Christmas like to work in the garden?
Because he likes to hoe, hoe, hoe!

Latest Christmass Jokes

Early Christmas shopping

It was Christmas and the judge was in a merry mood as he asked the suspect, “What are you charged with?”
“Doing my Christmas shopping early,” replied the defendant.
“That’s no offence,” said the judge. “How early were you doing this shopping?”
“Before the store opened,” countered the prisoner.

Cat on beach and Xmas

Why is a cat on a beach like Christmas?
Because they both have “Sandy claws”!

A Christmas rhyme

Twinkle Twinkle chocolate bar,
Santa drives a rusty car,
Press the starter,
Press the choke,
Off he goes in a cloud of smoke!

Father Christmas wins

Father Christmas wins a saucepan in a competition.
Now thats what you call pot luck!

Afraid of Santa Claus

What do you call people who are afraid of Santa Claus?
Claustrophobic.