A man rushes to his doctor’s office and says, “Doctor! Doctor! You gotta help me! I’ve got a carrot in my left ear and a banana in my right ear and a chicken wing up my nose!”
“Well, son,” the old doctor says. “It’s quite obvious you haven’t been eating properly.”
Q:How many Vietnam Vets does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
A:YOU DONT KNOW MAN YOU WERENT THERE!
The Detroit Lions
Q: What do you call 47 millionaires around a TV watching the Super Bowl?
A: The Detroit Lions.
Q: What do the Detroit Lions and Billy Graham have in common?
A: They both can make 70,000 people stand up and yell “Jesus Christ.”
Q: How do you keep a Detroit Lion out of your yard?
A: Put up goal posts.
Q: Where do you go in Detroit in case of a tornado?
A: To Ford Field – they never get a touchdown there.
Q: What do you call a Detroit Lion with a Super Bowl ring?
A: A thief.
Q: Why doesn’t Grand Rapids have a professional football team?
A: Because then Detroit would want one.
Q: What’s the difference between the Detroit Lions and a dollar bill?
A: You can still get four quarters out of a dollar bill.
Q: How many Detroit Lions does it take to win a Super Bowl?
A: Nobody knows and we may never find out.
Q: What do the Detroit Lions and possums have in common?
A: Both play dead at home and get killed on the road
Ohio State Students
How do you know a person posting a joke goes to Ohio State?
They fucking spell Michigan wrong.
Q: What Do Florida State Football Players Drink Insted Of Gatorade?
A: Seminole Fluid